I came to the Lord in different stages. I grew up going to an Anglican Church, attending Sunday School and occasional services as a teenager with my family. At the age of 15 I decided I hadn't found God at church and stopped believing.
However a youth outreach came to my school when I was 16 in 1992. There was a call to come up the front if you wanted to give your life to Jesus. I did want to, but didn't feel comfortable doing it in front of everyone else, so that moment slipped by. Fast forward to my twenties - I got into the occult and still had a belief in God and Jesus, but I was living in darkness.
In May 1999 I was walking with friends on Te Mata Peak, a hilly reserve with lots of walking tracks. I knew I wanted to return to the car alone, so I told the others and I made my way back alone. I came to the top of a hill, I was surrounded by trees and I heard a voice say: "WILL YOU GIVE YOUR LIFE TO JESUS?" I said "yes" and was instantly enveloped in what can only be described as LOVE! It was a wonderful moment. I felt so happy.
Well despite that encounter with the Lord I remained in darkness, quite heavily involved with the occult. I used to do tarot readings, sťances, spells, used crystals and other objects.
However the Lord had not given up on me. In December 2004 I got angry at the Santa stuff that was all over the place and I acknowledged Christmas being about Christ and having nothing to do with the commercialness that was replacing the truth of the festival.
In May 2005 I rang my sister, a Christian, on a Saturday night and said "I want to go to church tomorrow". At the Assembly of God meeting the next day I re-committed my life to Jesus.
I prayed with the Pastor and a few other people up the front of the church, I will never forget it. I cried, the Lord had touched me right through the whole service.
I have regularly attended church since then. The Lord has brought me out of darkness into His Kingdom of Light. I stand today because His love has transformed my entire life. He has redeemed me, I am His. Praise the Lord!
This was the new beginning I needed, but I needed the Lord in every area of my life. I have struggled with depression and anxiety most of my adult life. Something inside stopped hoping and believing life could be any good years ago. On different occasions I was suicidal but never went through with it. I have had many times when my mental and emotional health was in shatters and I also experienced about two and half years of chronic fatigue.
On Sunday 11th October 2009 the Lord gave me words that have changed my life forever:
He reigns in the midst of my pain, He said to me: "Stand and be made whole, by My stripes I have conquered your soul. It's free from death and pain and fear, your body and mind are clear, free from anxiety, sickness and doubt. Let it all go, let out a shout to Me, the risen King, the Holy One."
Later that day I was reading a Smith Wigglesworth book of sermons. The piece I was reading that day was about healing miracles. I talked to the Lord and He gave me a vision. Jesus was on the water and I was in a small row boat behind Him. His feet had parted the waves so my little boat could follow in His path.
I exchanged depression for His life that day. I wrote these words during that moment: Jesus the Lord of my life. Jesus the love in me. A drop of water from Heaven gives life to my soul. He has paid for my healing completely. And then somehow I knew I knew that I didn't have to live with depression another day! I have not had any more depression since that day. Jesus did for me what no anti-depressant or doctor could do, He healed me completely and in an instant.
A lifetime of anxiety and worry has left me and I am so grateful to the Lord for healing me. I now have hope for the life I have in Him. I no longer worry about the present or the future, I can enjoy today.
Jesus said in John 10:10 "The thief does not come except to steal and to kill and to destroy. I have come that they may have life; and that they may have it more abundantly."
I give glory to Yahweh who has delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears and my feet from falling. I will walk before the Lord in the land of the living.
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