God Are You Mad At Me?
By Harold Longs
The story experience: This is a title I came up with about my life. I was born into poverty and neglect. My Mom was an alcoholic and she worked the streets of Youngstown, Ohio. We were poor and I witnessed the brutal beating men would inflict upon her. I saw and witnessed things no child should have. One day in May of 1970 My sister and I witnessed my Mom get murdered by her best friend. We had no one to take us in. A kind family did and we moved to Columbus, Ohio. Little did I know the damage my childhood would have upon me as an adult. I got into drugs at the age 13 and I ended up in a correctional facility for 6 months for robbery. I did adjust well as a young adult but I got involved in drugs again and it was crack cocaine. I lost a job I had for 13 years and a divorce after 7 years. I ended up homeless and eating out of dumpsters. I lived in a homeless shelter for a while until I got into a drug treatment center. Relapses are a big part of my story and I relapsed time and time again. One day a friend named Mark Craig asked me to go to a gym to workout. He became like a mentor to me. I stopped using crack and started to lift weights. Mark asked me one day did I want to compete in a weight lifting contest and I did. I ended up winning and then I won the best lifter also. That moment changed my life, so I started to compete over the mid-west and I was winning. The media started to take notice and several articles were written about my life along with TV interviews. I went to college and I became a drug counselor. After 5 years of completing in weightlifting I completed in 1st world championship in 1997 and I came in 2nd. Life was going good. I got married again and I thought I had it all together. After 8 years of being sober I relapsed. I ended up having a massive heart attack and almost died. I ended up in a mental health ward for 30 days and after I got out I was depressed. How could this happen? My two daughters who were 3 and 4 at the time kept asking me Dad are you mad? After a month I caught on to what they were asking me. I was mad. I was mad at God, the world, my Mom's death, the shame and guilt I lived with as a child never left me even as an adult. I thought that the success I had had some how gotten rid of the shame I had felt all of my life. So I decided to find out why I was trying to destroy myself so I started to write about my life. It took me 5 years to complete my book but I figured out a lot of things. God was not mad at me even through my childhood was horrible, watching my Mom get shot, why didn't I have a normal childhood like the other kids? I was going to name the book Dad Are You Mad At Me, but after 3 years of writing I figured out I was really talking to God. God showed me even through I had it rough it was not that he was mad, it was to show the world and others like myself that he does indeed love us. I started to train again in weight lifting and I dictated this world champion to my nephew who was shot and killed right before I had my heart attack. So in 2003 I went to Oklahoma, City and won a world championship for him and I guess myself. So the question is how a person like me could become a messenger for God. I found out God can use anybody.
About the Author
Harold Longs is a counselor and motivational speaker for people who are struggling with abuse and addiction. Longs travels throughout the mid-west counseling and speaking. Harold is currently working as a counselor at the House Of Hope in Columbus, Ohio and he is working on his 2nd book. He lives in Columbus, Ohio with his wife and 6 kids. www.strategicbookpublishing.com/GodAreYouMadAtMe.html
This article is an excerpt from “One with Jesus: 16 Real Life Stories of Jesus’ Healing Power” published by www.GiftaBlessing.org.
© Reproduction allowed with permission. Due credit to be provided by inserting “This article has been published at http://giftablessing.org .”
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