To Face A Negative World
By Deborah S. Wagner
Copyright January 19, 2011
Men can heal the lustful. Angels can heal the malicious. Only God can heal the proud.
When I was younger I would go with my father to visit my fathers friend down the street who had a real mean dog. The dog was so mean, once he was released from the chain that restrained him. The dog would chase me around and around my father’s car. I was eight years of age at the time, a ‘tom boy’ of my time. I was elated and full of energy with this dog barking his head off, running as fast as he could to take a nip at me. The more I ran around the car the calmer the dog became. I think I actually tired the dog out, and I actually taught the dog how to play along with me, without the viral, malicious intent to mall me. As I look back at this, I actually miss those days growing up in a small town of many farmers at the time. Back then I could deal with an animal’s anger for being tied up for most of the day. And back then there was so much freedom, and so many fields of gold grass everywhere, and trees that I could climb. I honestly don’t know where all my energy has gone. And now that I’m older I have come face to face with some of the meanest people on the job, and in my family. Some associates that I hung out with, incredibly cruel and malicious for no apparent reason, it’s just how they are. But I’ve learned that a good portion of the reason why some people carry anger is to be angry for all the things to be proud of. To make anger precedent over ones-self… means more power and control over others. Anger doesn’t take the time to understand why be angry, a person just becomes angry because they may hold a self-centered, prideful image that they’re in control. When really they’re not control, in my opinion I think they’re really afraid of something. And the people I’ve encountered with anger management problems really have a low self-esteem about themselves. Simply because the people I’ve encountered with anger problems, really don’t know what to do once they’ve hurt everyone. They’ve created a way where people will avoid them. Where other people may think that some anger issues is about gaining respect. The bible says we’re all designed to have a conscience,
They show that the requirements of the law are written on their hearts, their consciences also bearing witness, and their thoughts sometimes accusing them and at other times even defending them.)
If their conscience is not hardened or desensitized, that person still will have a conscience of guilt. However, if that person’s heart is so hard, then their whole demeanor will be almost diabolic. I remember coming face to face with a family member’s anger management problems. Her anger was so seething with hate. Her expression on her face was so evil. This person has pulled my hair. She has used profanity to it’s fullest potential to initially hurt a person. She has verbally voiced her malicious values and manipulates her way as the only way. And she really doesn’t care, but deep down inside she knows it’s wrong. This family member knows I’m a Christian. And I’ve held my side down just as Jesus would do by allowing her to vent. I just learned that the best way to deal with angry people is to allow them to vent. And in all of this some of these people with anger problems really need to know they’re loved. Jesus said to forgive.
And by my having a relationship with God, I found God has given me strength, knowledge, and wisdom on how to handle an angry person. God has taught me that being silent is the best way to deal with a person with anger problems. There is no gain in two people with escalating tempers. When I was a nurse, I had worked among employees who were very prejudice for some reason. I finally yelled at one of them. But that really didn’t make me feel good, because nothing was learned from it. People remain within their own circles and tend to form their own ideas against other people to fit in, to make friends, even if it’s wrong. And I decided from there to move on with my life. I got counseling from my church, and the pastor tells me that Jesus wants us to forgive, and He wants us to pray for them.
11 “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
So what if I’ve been persecuted, God promises a reward in heaven. And so I continue to run into more people who hate me. A couple of co-workers that I met had some gossip about me going around. It’s hurtful and it really was a hostile work environment at the time. None of it was true, and nobody really wanted to take the time to get to know me personally. But God was there as my friend. And he loves me. So with full force, I put myself into the ministry at my local Catholic church. Everything I experienced negatively just brought me closer to God more and more. And that’s okay. Because I know God will never hurt me.
And then I came face to face with a family that I was hired to help as a caregiver. Worked really hard for this family. Drove their car to doctor appointments. Change the patient’s dirty diapers. Assisted the patient to eat three meals a day. And then one day as I was clocking into to my shift on the telephone, right behind my back, the patient decides to stand up without assistance, and falls and fractures his neck. Then I got the blamed for that where the family member tells me to my face…”Had you had checked on him first, he would not be in the shape that he’s in now.” In my opinion, it wouldn’t matter how protective I could have prevented this from happening. The patient needs to be either in a facility, or with a loved one 24/7 to make sure that he is safe. So I ended that job to protect my reputation as a nurse.
Lesson number one to always remember, God hates a proud look.
The LORD detests all the proud of heart. Be sure of this: They will not go unpunished.
The family chose to blame me instead of recognizing how hard I’ve been working for them to help them out with their loved one. It seems that families that live in the most wealthiest homes and neighborhoods, carry a “proud heart.” In my opinion a home isn’t a home if a family is always keeping their ‘pistols loaded’ against the people that are trying to help them. In other cases, I’ve experienced family yelling at me, because they felt I wasn’t qualified enough. And they would tell me to my face, and in a very mad tone expressing their low opinion of me. When they really didn’t know me at all…in this case, the agency that assigned me to this account just wanted the money. The agency knew that these people were harsh, and they chose me to be the ‘culprit’ or the blame for losing that account. To me this is just another form of discrimination.
To this day I look back at all the abuse I’ve experienced. God is the only refuge that I will continue to run to when the storm sets in. God is the ultimate friend to have when the rough times get rougher, and the sad times become sadder. He will defend me. He will always be there for me no matter what. God is my best friend. God will never hang up the phone on me. He’s really there for me. And has proven His presence to me over and over again. I praise God for all that He’s done for me. Thank you God for being there for me.