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Waiting for the Walruses
by Julie Michaelson
01/25/11
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And
Jerusalem
will be
trodden down
by the
Gentiles,
until the
times
of the
Gentiles
are fulfilled.
[Luke 21:24]
********************
"When are Ya
coming BACK,
LORD?"

[SILENCE.]

"They SAY
You're comin'
BACK,
SOON!"

[GRUFF VOICE*.]
"Who,
My beloved."

"The GENTILES!"

[GRUFF SIGH.]
[TURN TO HIS
RIGHT.]
[SHAKE HEAD,
RATHER GRUFFLY.]

(Pop a mini-pretzel.)
(Crunch.)
"SO,
WHEN ARE YA
COMIN' BACK?"

[GENTLE SMILE.]
[GENTLE VOICE.]
"Soon,
My beloved."

(Slightly whiny voice.)
"YEAH, BUT THE
FULLNESS OF THE
GENTILES HAS ALREADY COME!"

[GENTLE, PATIENT
SILENCE.]

(Whiny screech.)
"WHO ELSE.....
IS THERE?"

[GRUFF VOICE.]
"Who,
child."

"Ya know:
Z'GOYEM!
THEY'VE ALL HEARD
ABOUT YOU,
BY NOW!"

[SMILE!]
[GENTLE VOICE.]
"No,
My beloved."

"SURE, THEY HAVE!"
(Impatient squint
up at the egg-shell-white
ceiling.)
"HECK, EVERYBODY
CELEBRATES CHRISTMAS!
Even in JAPAN!"

[GENTLE, PATIENT SILENCE.]

"WHERE ELSE CAN
YA GO?"
(Squint at the ceiling
plaster.)
"YA CAN'T GO....
PAST JAPAN AND
KOREA! IT'S ALL
WATER!"

[PATIENT GAZE DOWN
AT CHILD WITH
FRAZZLED, FRIZZY
HAIR: IN AN
OLD BLUE BATHROBE.]

"ONCE YA GO OVER
THE PACIFIC....THEN,
Y'UR BACK IN THE
STATES!"
(Look up.)
"AND THEN YA
GOTTA START
ALL OVER, AGAIN!"

[GENTLE SIGH.]
[GLANCE OVER TO
HIS LEFT.]

[GRUFF FROWN.]
[GRUFF VOICE.]
"I SAY,
child......
WHEN THE TIME
HAS COME."

(Munching on a fifth
pretzel.)
"But......WHERE ELSE
CAN YA GO, LORD?
ANTARCTICA?"

[GENTLE CHUCKLE.]

"THERE'S JUST
WALRUSES, THERE..
LORD! AND, MOST
A' THEM ARE JEWISH!"
(Glance up at the ceiling.)
(Smile!)
"And.......THEY'VE
ALREADY TURNED
YA, DOWN!"

[GRUFF SIGH.]
"Oy VEY."

(Laugh!)
"And....Ya don't
NEED TO GO TO THE
NORTH POLE! THERE'S
NOBODY UP THERE,
'CEPT SANTA AND HIS
REINDEER! AND EVERYBODY
KNOWS....THEY'RE ALL
CHRISTIAN!"

[BURST OF LAUGHTER
FROM THE THRONE
TO THE RIGHT.]

(Shout.)
"SO, NOW WE'RE
BACK TO THE OTHER
POLE, LORD!"
(Squint at the ceiling.)
(Smile!)
(Wink.)
"I'M NOT REALLY
SURE....
ABOUT HOW THE
PENGUINS FEEL!"

[TURN TO HIS RIGHT.]
[GRUFF VOICE.]
"I'm gonna SMACK
her."

[GENTLE VOICE.]
"Now, Father,
You KNOW....."

[GRUFF VOICE.]
"Hm, hm.
She's poking FUN."

[GENTLE LAUGH.]
"She's just trying
to UNDERSTAND..."

[GRUFF CHORTLE.]
[ALL-WISE NOD.]
"She understands...FINE.
She's just pokin' FUN."

[GENTLE SIGH.]

(Cup hands about
mouth-full-of-pretzel:
shout.)
"I'M NOT SURE
ABOUT THE KOALA
BEARS........LORD!
THEY COULD
GO EITHER WAY!"

[GENTLE VOICE.]
"They don't live
in Antarctica,
My beloved."

(Furious nod.)
(Sip some watered-
down-Strawberry
Crush soda.**)
(Burp.)
"YEAH, BUT
THEY'RE IN AUSTRALIA!
AND, PAST THERE
ALL YA GOT IS WATER,
TOO! THERE'S NO
PLACE ELSE TO GO!"

[GRUFF SIGH.]

(Whiny shout.)
"AND, THEN WE'RE BACK TO SQUARE ONE!"

[GENTLE VOICE.]
"Read My Word,
beloved."

"I DID!
I HAVE!
IT'S ALL ABOUT
THE FULLNESS OF
THE GENTILES!"

[GRUFF SILENCE.]

[GENTLE SILENCE.]

(Laughing.)
"WE'RE JUST WAITIN'
ON THE WALRUSES,
NOW, LORD! JUST
THE WALRUSES!"

[GRUFFLY QUIET
VOICE.]
"No,
My beloved."

(Mouth full.)
(Crunching on a
sixth pretzel.)
"HUH?"

[GRUFF GAZE UPON
HIS MOTTLED EARTH,
FROM FAR
OUT IN SPACE.]
"I have Something
Special.....
planned
for
them."
*******************
And
there will
be signs
in {the}
sun,
and moon
and stars,
and
upon the earth
distress of
nations
in perplexity
at the
roaring
of the sea
and
the waves.
[Luke 21:25]

_____________________
*The Father.
The Son has the
[GENTLE VOICE.]
**The author is valiantly
trying to eat a lot healthier:
so far, it's been a downward slide.

If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW

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