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The Earth Experiment
by Julie Michaelson
01/18/11
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And
God
said,
'Let
there
be light.'
And
there
was light.
[Genesis 1:3]
******************
[GENTLE VOICE.]
"Father,
Our child has
a question for
You."

[GRUFF CHORTLE.]
"Why didn't she
just ask...
Me?"

[GENTLE SIGH.]
"She was
afraid...
that You might
be in a Bad Mood,
today."

"Why."
[GRUFF VOICE.]
"Why is today
different,
from any other
DAY*?"

[GENTLE CHUCKLE.]
"This isn't PASSOVER,
Father."

[GLANCE TO HIS RIGHT:
A HUMOROUS
GLANCE.]
[SIGH.]
[FROWN.]
[BECKON TWO
ANGELS INTO
THE THRONE ROOM.
BOTH ARE COVERED
WITH MUD, AND
GREEN SLIME.
ONE IS
CARRYING A SWORD;
THE OTHER ONE IS
NOT.]
"So,
what does
Our precious
wish to know?"

[GENTLE NOD
TO THE TWO ANGELS.
BOTH ARE TRACKING
GREAT AMOUNTS OF
MUD, AND GREENISH-
BROWN SLIME ON THE
THRONE ROOM FLOOR;
SLOWLY, WITH WINGS
CAST DOWNWARD IN AN
AIR OF WOEFUL
DEFEAT, THEY
BOTH KNEEL ONTO
THE KNEELING CUSHIONS
IN FRONT
OF THE TWO THRONES.]
"Our beloved
wishes to know..
If We plan
to settle
another COLONY."

[GRUFF VOICE.]
"Of ANTS?"

[BURST OUT LAUGHING!]
[GENTLE VOICE.]
"No, Father:
another PLANET."

[NODDING TO THE
ONE TALLER, BLOND
ANGEL WITH THE
SWORD. THE ANGEL,
WHOSE NAME IS
BRIGGUND, SITS
UP FROM HIS KNEELING
POSITION
AND BEGINS TO
EXPLAIN THE TRAVAILS
OF THEIR MOST RECENT
ASSIGNMENT AS FIGHTING
MESSENGERS OF
OF THE ANGELIC-HOST:
RATHER HALTINGLY
AND VERY TEARFULLY.
HIS BUDDY**, SYLVESTOR,
KEEPS HIS PLUMP
FACE DOWN ON HIS
CUSHION. THE GREEN SLIME
AND MUD IS DRIPPING FROM HIS
DARK CURLY HAIR ONTO
THE ROYAL-PUPLE VELVET CUSHION.
A GREAT DEAL OF SNIFFING,
AND WHIMPERED MUMBLES,
CAN BE HEARD THROUGH THE
SLIME-STAINED VELVET.]
[GRUFF VOICE.]
"What did Our
little precious think:
that Earth was an
EXPERIMENT?"

[GENTLE NOD.]
"Yes, Father."

[GRUFF NOD.]
"I SEE.
WELL........"

[GENTLE VOICE.]
"What should I
tell her,
Father?"

[GRUFF SIGH.]
[NODDING, WHILE
BRIGGUND, WHO IS
USING THE MUD-STAINED GAUZE
OF HIS ROBE SLEEVE
TO WIPE HIS RUNNY
NOSE, CONTINUES
TO GIVE HIS REPORT
OF THEIR LATEST
VALIANT EFFORT IN
RETRIEVING SYLVESTOR'S STOLEN
SWORD FROM THE
SLIME-SPEWING CONNIVING DEMON,
DARTH, AND HIS OWN
MUD-SLINGING,
MINIATURE DEMONIC BUDDY,
R2D2.]
[NOD.]
"Tell her
that.....
when We Created
Earth....."

[GENTLE VOICE.]
"Yes,
Father?"

[PATIENT GAZE
UPON BRIGGUND,
WHO KEEPS LOOKING
DOWN AT HIS BUDDY,
SYLVESTOR,
WHO IS WHIMPERING,
SNIFFLING, AND
MUMBLING: MUMBLING,
SNIFFLING, AND WHIMPERING.]
[PATIENT SIGH.]
"That...
We
broke
the
mold."
*******************
Let
Us
make
man
in
Our
image.
[Genesis 1:26]

______________________
*One of the questions
that Jews ask, from
their prayer books,
on Passover.
**Except for Archangel
Michael, all of the
Fighting Angels on Earth
have a buddy.


Copyright 2011.

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