This entire subject can be resolved by reading only three verses of Scripture, Ephesians 5:22-24 (NKJV). “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.”
That’s a powerful all-encompassing commandment. A wife is to submit in all matters. Not some things, not when she feels like it, but in “everything.” I guess there’s not much more to say. But there is.
Being a lay minister and counselor, I have helped many individuals and couples, especially those with marriage problems. My experience reveals that the biblical concept of a wife being submissive to her husband does not set well with most women today, as even those of faith have been raised in a society that indoctrinates young girls with an overt feminist doctrine in direct contradiction with the loving commandments of God.
Then too, many men have difficulty with the subject as well, abusing the doctrine through spiritual ignorance and occasional evil intent. Put bluntly, they see their position as a right, instead of realizing that it is a monumental responsibility.
It’s sad that a biblical doctrine meant to sow harmony in a marriage has been turned into a continual source of spousal confrontation by a society bent on self-destruction.
Without blaming television, it is a good source of understanding the depth of the problem, as programs, even comedies, most often don’t show a married couple in accord, but rather at each others throats. They demean each other. They scream and fight over the most mundane of topics. They get divorced. This is illustrative because the entertainment industry most often mirrors real life.
Some would say this is a good thing, after all, the “nuclear family” no longer exists, so why live in a “fantasy world”? That may or may not be true, but what is certainly true is that instead of trying to elevate ourselves and marriages to the standard of the Almighty, we have opted for the path of least resistance by lowering the standard to meet society’s slide into a secular abyss. .
And at the heart of the devaluation of marriage is the destruction of the roles of marriage partners. A “misunderstanding” of Scripture has led men and women to harmful conclusions.
To the point, men have no authority over their wives unless they are within the Word of God. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,” (Ephesians 5:25). So when a man has to make a decision, it must be made in love for his wife. He needs to listen to her, and whenever possible give sway to her thoughts, opinions, wants, and needs. He must remember the Golden Rule. "Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.” (Matthew 7:12)
Proving that a man’s authority only stems from the Lord, we only need to give a hypothetical that lets the ridiculous illustrate the sublime. For example, is a woman to commit prostitution if her husband demands she do so? 1 Corinthians 5:9 says: “I wrote to you in my epistle not to keep company with sexually immoral people.” This command and others do not contain a qualifier that states “...unless the person is your husband.” The Bible is replete with examples making clear that a man must respect and obey God’s law before he can expect his wife to respect and submit to his word.
And if he does as God asks, what then must be the wife’s response? She must submit or be in rebellion against God. “Obey those who rule over you, and be submissive, for they watch out for your souls, as those who must give account. Let them do so with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for you.” (Hebrews 13:17) As God always says what He means and means what He says, the wording of this verse goes a long way in making plain the spiritual relationship of the husband and wife.
It is crystal clear from Scripture that a wife’s submission to her husband is actually a submission to the Word of God - and in her best interest. Both the husband and wife must understand that a Christian husband is simply a messenger. And both must act out of love for the other.
“Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” (Ephesians 5:33)
Ed Mrkvicka is an award winning Christian author, lay minister, and lifelong Bible student.
His newest book, “The Prayer Promise of Christ,” has just been named Christian Book of the Year by Books & Authors.net.
His web site is located at: www.EdwardFMrkvickaJr.com
While your article is quit interesting I don't beleive love means sumiting yourself totally to no one but to god himself,but I so much love reading what you had to say an absolute pleasure indeed,many blessings to your and yours''