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God created a human being in a way that he should grow. If there is a person who was born twenty years ago and still looks like a five months infant, know that there is a problem with him or her.
Why?
That’s not what God wanted life to be like, just as a seed that is thrown into the soil has several stages of growth, the same goes with human life and nobody can dispute that.
Let me explain further so that we can have clear understanding.
It is Gods aim that human growth should involve the whole life as a block. Every aspect of human life should grow. A human being should grow physically, financially, spiritually, mentally, etc. Some of these aspects are meant to grow automatically and yet some needs our physical effort.
I don’t want to go much into details of which or what needs our efforts or what does not need. I want to go straight into our main discussion.
Among all the aspects of human life one thing that is often neglected is friendship, as the human being is growing physically and in all other aspects, so should his friendship life. Many do not feel that friendship is important. I recall one of my workmates telling me boldly that she can do without friendship. She said friends are time wasters and people who value friends are old fashioned.
But can a person really do without friends?
I am yet to prove. But I believe if friendship was not that important and time wasting then God couldn’t have created Eve. It is the power of friendship that moved God to create Eve. And He did express that He created Eve to offer Adam mutual support and company, if you doubt read the first and second chapters of the book of Genesis. This only take us to the fact that making friends is not a hobby like people put it but rather God’s will from the beginning of creation.
But mind you, making friends can be meaningless if you are not a good friend yourself. Being a friend is one thing and being a good friend is another. You can be that person that people feel free to open up and pour their mind to, a person whose company is a blessing to others or be that person that people stick around for fear of their lives or to mock you when you are not around.
Do people shun you? Or do you seem to be alone? “Loneliness never kills,” so the saying goes but it has some negative impacts on your life. You can turn around your life today and make it an oasis of happiness and make a lot of people want to be part of your life.
Firstly before doing anything else you should take a look at your own life.
My own life?
Yes, your life. Your life is the tool to attracting friends, it’s good to observe your weaknesses first and don’t ever try to cover them up when you are around people because that alone ruins friendship. Approach people the way you are and they will accept you. But if you hide your true self it will be disastrous when they realize who really you are. In the same way you should accept your friend’s weaknesses.
Another vital step is to value your friends. Do not be self centered, give our friends your ears and listen to their worries, fears and achievements. Congratulate them when they have achieved, comfort them when they are in sorrow and advise them when it is necessary. Make them feel important when they are around you. Do not always talk too much about yourself, family, achievements or ambitions.
Is it so?
Yes, expressing yourself does not hurt friendship but too much of it is sometimes boring so some may think you are self centered. It’s advisable to tell your friends what you like; you can tell them about the food you like, clothes, pets, favorite color and even the places you like visiting and nothing more except under certain circumstances.
Smiles also add value to friendships. Now and then you should give your friends a smile for this makes them relax when you are around. Don’t keep a tight face for this is a sign of anger and dissatisfaction and to your friends it reads don’t trust me or get away from me.
Do not try to do things you cannot do or you do not like just to satisfy your friends, you are not a superman. Be honest, tell them politely what you can do and what you cannot.
Above all these things build self confidence. People like to be around someone who has self confidence, who will encourage and motivate them. Be like a server on a computer network and at the very same time humble yourself to listen to their advice too.
Good friendship does not fall from the sky, it is created by people. So I say make yourself a good friend and good friends will flock to you and God in heaven will be pleased.
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