Kids & Parenting
No More Silence in Romania: The Story of Bianca Lavinia Calderon
By Aaron Neumb
"It is not we who keep silence here [. . .] but the members of the church in the free world [. . .] for they do not speak on our behalf."
Canon Julius Hirtea
In their McLean home, the Calderons: Veronica, Carlos, and their daughters Carla and Camille had lessons in sign language every Tuesday. This wasn’t in order for them to communicate with a current family member but a much anticipated addition to the family who would be traveling thousands of miles to be a part of their lives.
When the Calderons contacted the Family International Adoption Agency in 2001, Veronica made it clear she wanted to adopt a child with a hearing impairment. Why? Romania stands as a nation rising out the rubble of political corruption, a nation of people thrown into turmoil and trying desperately to overcome poverty. Added onto this disarray is the fact that Romanian children with special needs struggle to find local families willing to care for them and love them unconditionally.
Upon learning Romanian orphanages state that children with special needs are “unadoptable”, Veronica was more determined than ever to reach out and save at least one of these silenced children from an uncertain fate in a country brought to shambles in the late 80s.
Having prayed continuously night and day, the Calderons were conferred the first of many blessings in 2002. The family received word of a two-year-old girl, sweet, quiet, and non-troublesome, in an orphanage in Calarasi.
Unknown at the time the child was brought to the orphanage, little Bianca Lavinia Seceleanu was deaf. An unwritten rule that may seem unfair at first was a bonus for the Calderons: families wanting children with special needs go through a quicker procedure. This is to ensure these children, who would otherwise spend their childhood and teenage years in orphanages that could barely afford them, are adopted. With gleaming anticipation of placing at least one of earth's precious angels within a loving home, Bianca's caretaker called to relay her availability to the Calderons.
At that moment, Veronica swelled with happiness and an unexplainable joy – unexplainable because somehow she just knew, without a doubt, Bianca was meant to be her and Carlos’ daughter and the sister Carla and Camille had been waiting for.
But blessings always seem to warrant spiritual counter-attack, evil hating for love to conquer all. The intensity of the Calderons' desire to be united with Bianca would be put to a test teeming with legal and political barriers.
In June 2001, Romanian laws changed regarding international adoption, an action taken upon the European Union’s denial of the country’s application to enter the EU due to the poor conditions of children welfare. Through a moratorium, all international adoptions were ceased until practices, rules and regulations could be reviewed by a committee, only for the sake of being accepted as a European state.
This decision would span the nation’s borders to deeply affect American families desperately contacting officials to hear news of their waiting children in Romania.
One would have to wonder: where does this political agenda leave the children, the older ones with eyes glistening in expectations of coming to America, who were literally one foot out of the door of poverty?
Veronica and her family, broken-hearted, found themselves among the group of parents feeling as if one of their children could not find her way home. However, the Calderons would trust their faith once more and remained steadfast in the belief they would receive the wonderful little girl they were promised.
The family's battle with bureaucracy lasted nearly ten months, a process of paperwork that would have normally taken four to five. But as they stayed on the straight and narrow, determined to be united with Bianca, the blessings – once again – began to flow. On April 21, 2003, the Calderons were notified by their correspondent attorney in Romania that their application had been approved, their process completed, and they could prepare to receive Bianca, who had been moved to Bucharest in wait of their arrival.
A month later, Veronica and her family arrived in Romania. The humid gray sky cast fog below, as the Calderons left the hotel and headed towards downtown to Bianca's temporary residence.
With paint chipped away and red stone-shingled roofs, pink clay houses lay within a forest of greenery and a contradiction of sand, leading to the banks of the Danube River, overcome with industrial machinery.
The Calderons met several people during their stay in Romania. Despite the area’s natural beauty and its strive to rebuild out of poverty, the people remained of a kind, loving nature one would expect to find in any close-knit community in the United States. This hospitality eased the anxious nerves of Veronica and her family as they made their way to the orphanage.
The photos of Bianca they had received over the months were no comparison to the living doll standing before them. Golden wheat-colored hair, cropped just below the ears, with a pink bow on top, brown eyes, fair skin, and wearing a pink dress, Bianca was a child to be adored.
Next to come would be a memory Veronica would never forget. While everything was being finalized, three-year-old Bianca played with toys; then, when it was time to go, she immediately joined the Calderons -- ready to leave. With smiles -- no tears, objections, or any sign of feeling like she was being taken away -- she greeted a group of people she instantly took to as family. Except for the sadness felt by the caretakers, love and joy were accompanying Bianca to America.
Back in their McLean home, Bianca Lavinia Calderon slept, a long awaited journey finally taking its toll on the little traveler. Meanwhile, arrangements to end her world of silence were already in the making.
Bianca was brought to the John Hopkins medical center in Baltimore, where she underwent cochlear surgery. It was a success.
Today, she attends school, where she learns to speak. At four-years-old, she finds her voice through music, singing Happy Birthday and other favorite songs, and is able to say, "Mommy," and "Daddy". What two more important words are there for a child to learn? Ask Bianca: she answers the telephone!
Wanting to share their lives and their abode, to none less deserving than a child, has brought much happiness to the Calderons. Never tripping over her desire to spread joy to another, Veronica embarked on one more task: contacting Bianca Lavinia's biological mother.
In an open letter dated December 2003 (written in English for anyone who could comprehend and Romanian translation underneath, if the letter found its way into Ms. Seceleanu's hands) Veronica poured her emotions onto the pages. She expressed understanding how hard it must have been for Ms. Seceleanu to place her child for adoption and reassured her that she loved Bianca as one of her natural daughters. Veronica wrote how much the Calderons’ lives have been enriched by Bianca and all the progress her daughter was making. Finally, Veronica welcomed contact from Ms. Seceleanu, so she may be a part of her daughter's life; she promised Bianca would know as much about her biological mother as the woman would be willing to share.
The Calderons made this statement about their adoption experience very clear: they have been truly blessed down through the years and have made this commitment as a thank-you and as their way of giving back some of the love, happiness, and the gift of a beautiful life given unto them.
(c) 2005 No More Silence in Romania/ Neumb
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