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RETURN TO GOD COUNTRY PT. I
by gwendolyn Ransom
04/21/04
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FELICIA GRANT STOOD IN FRONT OF ENTRANCE OF GOD COUNTRY WHERE THE BIG OAK TREE STOOD, AS SHE GLANCED AT THE TREE, SHE COULD SEE THE FLOURESCENT GLOW THAT SUMMONED HER TO COME NEAR. SHE COULD FEEL A STRONG SENSATION GO THROUGH HER BODY AS SHE MOVED CLOSER AND CLOSER TO THE TREE WITH TEARS STREAMING DOWN HER FACE.
IN FRONT OF THE TREE SHE KNEELED DOWN AND BEGAN TO CRY OUT TO GOD, "FATHER, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, I LOST EVERYTHING THAT I THOUGHT WAS IMPORTANT. I NEED YOU TO FORGIVE ME FOR FORSAKING YOU. YOU KNOW WHY I LEFT HERE. HOW CAN I EVEN THINK OF COMING BACK HERE?"
HER MIND BEGAN TO TRAVEL BACK TO ALL OF THE PEOPLE SHE HURT BEFORE LEAVING RANDOLPH. SHE LOST HER BESTFRIEND, PHOEBE. AND SHE LOST MICHAEL. SHE AND MICHAEL HAD KNOWN ONE ANOTHER SINCE THEY WERE BOTH EIGHT YEARS OLD, AND SHE LOVED HIM MORE YEARS THAN SHE COULD COUNT. WHEN HE PROPOSED TO HER, IT WAS A NIGHT OF MAGIC, SHE KNEW GOD APPROVED OF THEIR LOVE, BECAUSE SHE DID NOT DO ANYTHING WITHOUT CONSULTING GOD. IT WAS HERE AT GOD COUNTRY THAT THEY PROMISED TO LOVE ONE ANOTHER AND THEY PROMISED THEY WOULD ALWAYS TRUST ONE ANOTHER. TWO WEEKS LATER, SHE VIOLATED THAT TRUST WHEN SHE WALKED OUT ON HIM. SHE WANTED TO EXPLAIN THAT SHE DID NOT HAVE A CHOICE AND THAT SHE LOVED HIM MORE THAN HE COULD EVER KNOW. IT WAS BECAUSE OF HER LOVE FOR HIM AND PHOEBE SHE LEFT. AND NOW, AFTER LOSING EVERYTHING IN JACKSONVILLE, SHE WAS FORCED TO RETURN TO RANDOLPH. AS SOON AS SHE WALKED OUT OF THE WILL OF GOD, HER LIFE WENT FROM BAD TO WORSE, HER MARRIED DISINTEGRATED, AND SO DID THE BUSINESS WHICH HE FATHER OWNED FOR MANY YEARS. AND SHE WAS FORCED TO FILE FOR BANKRUPTCY, LEAVING HER VIRTUALLY PENNILESS.
SHE HAD ONLY ONE PLACE SHE COULD GO. SHE CAME HOME TO THE HOUSE WHICH HER FATHER LEFT HER, ONLY TO FIND OUT THAT THE ROOF CAVED IN ON HER FIRST NIGHT HOME. NO WHERE TO GO, SHE CAME TO GOD COUNTRY. SHE KNEW NO MATTER HOW FAR SHE CAME, SHE HAD TO GET IN TOUCH WITH GOD.
AS SHE KNEELED, SHE KNEW GOD WOULD RESPOND TO HER AS HE DID ON MANY OCCASSION. "I BROUGHT YOU HOME, FELICIA, BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND I NEED YOU TO TRUST IN THAT LOVE I HAVE FOR YOU."
"I FAILED YOU, GOD. I WALKED AWAY FROM YOU SEVENTEEN YEARS. I MADE SUCH A MESS OUT OF EVERYTHING. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO. MICHAEL WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR HURTING HIM, HOW DO I EVEN ASK?"
"FELICIA, YOU NEVER TRUSTED ME. I HAD ALREADY WORKED OUT THE SITUATION WITH YOU AND MICHAEL. YOU MADE ME APART OF THE COVENANT RIGHT HERE SEVENTEEN YEARS AGO, AND YOU BROKE THE COVENANT BECAUSE YOU DID NOT TRUST ME. YOU ARE MY DAUGHTER, I WOULD NEVER LEAVE NOR FORSAKE YOU. I HAVE BEEN WITH YOU THROUGH EVERY TRIAL AND TRIBULATION. I BROUGHT YOU HOME SO THAT YOU CAN EXPERIENCE THE GREAT LOVE I HAVE FOR YOU."
FELICIA BEGAN TO SOB LOUDER, AND LOUDER, HOW COULD GOD STILL WANT HER AFTER EVERYTHING SHE DID. "WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO, FATHER?"
"WALK IN THE LOVE I HAVE FOR YOU AND BELIEVE ME AT ALL COST. I KNOW YOU BELIEVE THAT THE SACRIFICE YOU MADE FOR PHOEBE WAS SO GREAT, BUT IT WAS UNNECESSARY. THERE IS NOT ANY POWER OR SITUATION THAT I AM NOT AWARE OF. AS YOU COME TO KNOW ME AGAIN, YOU WILL UNDERSTAND HOW THE PLANS THAT I HAVE MADE FOR YOU WILL COME TO PAST."
"WILL MICHAEL FORGIVE ME?" SHE WHISPERED IN HER THOUGHTS UNAWARE OF SOMEONE STANDING BEHIND HER.
SHE ASKED ONCE MORE, STILL UNAWARE OF THE MASCULINE FIGURE STANDING A FEW FEET BEHIND HER. SHE STILL DID NOT RECEIVE AN ANSWER.
SHE CONFUSED AS TO WHY GOD HAD SUDDENLY STOPPED TALKING, SHE SLOWLY STOOD UP AND LOOKED AROUND. SHE SAW THE FIGURE AND FROZE, SHE SHOOK HER HEAD IN FEAR. THIS COULD NOT BE HAPPENING, SHE THOUGHT AS SHE COULD NOT SPEAK.
HE LOOKED AT HER AND WIPED HER TEARS WITH HIS FOREFINGER, "MICHAEL," SHE BREATHED, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"
MICHAEL COULD NOT FIGHT BACK THE TEARS WHEN HE SAW HER.HOW HE LONGED TO SEE HER. HE REACHED OUT TO HER AND EMBRACED. HE STILL LOVED HER MORE THAN EVER. HOW MANY TIMES HAD HE PRAYED THAT SHE WOULD COME BACK HOME. HE EVEN IMAGINED HIS REACTION WHEN HE SAW HER.HE HELD HER SO TIGHT THAT HE DID NOT WANT TO LET HER GO, "FELICIA, I AM SO GLAD TO SEE YOU," HE WHISPERED, "I HEARD THAT YOU WERE BACK."
FELICIA HELD HIM A LITTLE WHILE LONGER, "MICHAEL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" SHE REPEATED.
"GOD COUNTRY IS WHERE I AM SUPPOSE TO BE," HE SAID RELEASING AND LOOKING AT HER, "WHY ARE YOU HERE."
SHE HELD HER HANDS UP IN DEFEAT, "I LOST EVERYTHING, MICHAEL. THIS IS THE ONLY PLACE I COULD GO. I AM TOO ASHAMED TO GO ANYWHERE ELSE."
HE HUGGED HER ONCE MORE, "YOU DO NOT HAVE ANY REASON TO BE ASHAMED."
SHE COULD NOT BELIEVE HIM. HE DO NOT KNOW THE THINGS THAT SHE HAD DONE. SHE COULD NOT TELL HIM, NOR COULD SHE FACE HIM. SHE LOOKED TOWARD THE ENTRANCE OF THE PLAINS AND SHE BEGAN TO RUN. SHE COULD HEAR MICHAEL CALLING HER, BUT IT ONLY INCREASED HER SPEED. GOD, SHE THOUGHT ONCE MORE, WHAT WAS SHE GOING TO DO?







If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW

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