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Short Dramas and Plays PLEASE ENCOURAGE


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Demon Conference
by Jonathan Boustead
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LEADER: OK. Thank you for coming everyone. Excuse me? If you could draw your attention to today's agenda?...ahem...excuse me...just stop your bickering, if only for a moment! Put him down now, please you can tear one another up later...SPIRITS!


Now listen here, you filthy inbreds! Whilst my lips are moving, yours must not! OK?..Ah! What have I just said?


Thank you. Now, if you could turn your attention to today's agenda. INFILTRATION. We need new tactics! Our previous attempts have proven futile, and the lack of success has caused our numbers to dwindle...but if we persist we shall succeed, I know it. We just need the right method...We are seeking to go beyond enemy lines...over the borders, and into the camp

Some people get excited.

Now! I have sent some of you on a mission of your own. 'A house that is divided against itself will not stand'. Something our puny little subjects often seem to forget. Sometimes it seems we know the words of their Master more than they do, themselves! That, my friends, is when we have the upper hand. It's the diligent ones you want to avoid. They fight back, with arrows that we cannot quench...but we can look at that later. For now, we're looking for a breach in the walls. So, where are the ones I sent out?

Four spirits step forward. Knocking one another out of the way...

Stand straight you imbeciles!

They do.

Lovely...Ahhh, my faithful and loyal spirits. You trust that your success, should that be the case in this instance, shall be rewarded?

They nod.

Very good. And what news do you bring?
ONE Well sir, I noticed a certain laziness in their -
TWO LIAR! It was I who saw their slothful approach.
ONE I saw the problem, I saw it first.
TWO It was I who noticed their spiritual thirst.
THREE Pardon me, if I may, it was I who was the creep...I snook up to the border and then -

They start a brawl and the spirits cheer as the fight progresses. The leader looks for a short while.

LEADER Silence!

They fight ceases.

LEADER (to number three) Young, filthy spirit.
THREE Sir...?
LEADER Step forward.

Number Three steps forward.

LEADER What they accuse you of, is it true?
ONE The very truth Sir.
TWO As true as it is, that we come before you today.
LEADER Did I ask you to speak?
TWO You asked for the truth, Sir.
LEADER No, I asked him for the truth. Now still your tongue before I rip it out myself!


THREE Sir I-I-I was, I-I-I-
LEADER Spit it out, spirit!
THREE It was just...it was so....I couldn't -

The leader advances on Three.

LEADER Am I going to have to clamp down on your tongue while it collects it's thoughts?

The rest of the spirits get excited.

VOICE 1 Tear it out from his throat!.
VOICE 2 Watch the little one squirm!
VOICE 3 Lazy, foul spirit does not belong here!
VOICE 4 Send him to the master!
ALL To the master!

They start to chant as number three squirms.

LEADER What shall it be, spirit?
THREE No. Please. I-I-I-I. NO. NO!
LEADER I've no used for density, in this organisation. The master will deal with you now. TO THE MASTER!

Leader throws Three into the cheering crowd, who grab him and carry him off stage.

LEADER Let it be known, that anyone who has been so greatly privileged, as to be sent on such a quest as to infiltrate the lair of those filthy, vile delinquents, should you so much as even think of resting on the job, I will deliver your sorry selves to the master myself!


Now. About this, slothfulness within their camp. Amongst which aspect does it lie...they've been a pretty zealous bunch to date.
ONE Sir, if I may.
LEADER You may.
TWO But sir, I -
LEADER I don't care which one of you swine's tell me. Just tell me!
TWO Pardon me, sir.
ONE Sorry sir.
LEADER Forget it. (To one) You. What is this laziness you speak of? Where is it most apparent?
ONE In their prayers, sir.
LEADER Really?
TWO He speaks the truth, sir. The very same.
LEADER How very interesting. How do these lazy prayers manifest themselves?
ONE Well sir, it seems they are going for more of drizzling strategy.
LEADER Explain.
TWO Please sir, it looks like they favour a more quick-fire strategy. Prayer is slowly becoming the last thing they do. And when they do do it, it's far more generic.
ONE Systematic.
TWO Automatic.
ONE One could even question if they really knew what their prayers were for...
TWO They fail to see it's importance, sir. Or rather, perhaps are seeking to undermine it's significance.
ONE There seems to be a lack of any serious petition. I've no doubt the shorter prayers have their place but -
LEADER Not here they don't!
ONE But sir, if this is all they choose...
TWO If their prayer life diminishes...
LEADER Then we have a way in.

Leader lets out a dark laugh.

How sweet. They're prayers are diluted. This is good. Very good. We must diligently encourage such behaviour. It's an odd thing that their master has established, but it seems that their prayers are often what allows their work to flourish...
ONE Less prayer means less effect...
LEADER The less they pray, the less they hear...
TWO The less they hear, the less they see...
LEADER And the less they see, the more room we have to manoeuvre...haha! Oh where to begin...where shall we go, amongst which part of the camp shall we roam?
ONE We'll get them to talk about one another.
TWO We'll drive one to speak against one's brother..
ONE They will busy themselves, with the strife of life.
TWO One may take a shining to another man's wife..

They laugh.

ONE But sir, you mentioned before, that they are zealots at heart. What can we use to drive them apart.
LEADER Do not fear, little creature. The more you get their prayers, the more we move. Let them have whatever they wish. They can have their instruments, their song and dance. They can even have bums on seats....in fact the more there are, the bigger the impact, the more we disturb. If they have not prayer, they have not discernment, and they have not much. Then we can set them against each other. This could be far easier than I had first anticipated.

They all get excited. Another steps forward eagerly.

FOUR Sir, if I may.
LEADER Who is this?
FOUR Your humble servant, sir. I took the time to sneak along.
LEADER An eager warrior. You are welcome to speak.
FOUR It seems the pastor is having trouble, with one or two of the more...vocal members of the group.
LEADER This just keeps getting better. Such as?
FOUR Well I think they feel like he's not meeting their needs as much as they'd hoped.
LEADER Hmmm...
FOUR They've settled their differences for now, but we could ruffle a few feathers. Open up some wounds. Cause one or two distractions...rearrange some priorities, perhaps?
LEADER Beautiful. Yes. Keep their minds unsettled. Tweak their ears a little bit. Tell them what they want to hear.

Some get excited.

Let them be troubled where they are, who they're with, and where they go.
Let them sleep in their anger, and pollute their dreams. The cracks in the camp are beginning to show.
The less they pray, the more we move, our time is soon at hand,
We'll tear them up and watch them them fall, for divided, they will not stand.


Jonathan Boustead 2011

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