"All the good ones are taken," Jennifer complained. "There's nobody to date - even if I lower my standards. I mean it's not like I'm looking for a guy to ride in on a white horse and sweep me off my feet. I'd just like to meet a nice guy with a decent job and a sense of humor. Is that too much to ask?"
"I know what you mean," her friend Sarah commiserated. "It feels like all the guys where I work are already paired up or they are simply not dating material. I mean I'm not going out with a guy whose idea of a nice date is Taco Bell and video games."
"Seriously," Jennifer continued, "I don't even know if some guys think of it as a date. Three weeks ago, I went on that hike with First Church and there were some cute guys in the group. I ended up talking to one of them most of the hike and then he asked me to have cup of coffee with him when we got back to the church. I think he's a nice guy, but I don't even know if he considered that a date or what? He texted me a couple times since, but was it just a friendly thing or what?"
This little exchange between friends is echoed in one form or another countless times between singles everywhere. In fact, it's one of the top complaints that single people lament: finding a date is hard.
The Truth About Finding a Date
But could this really be true? With 90 million singles in America, could it be that "all the good ones are taken" near you? Unlikely. According to the American Association for Single People, an "unmarried majority" has emerged in most major cities, as well as in several states. In fact, the majority of households in the nation are headed by unmarried adults (1). So, why is it that singles are complaining about not finding a date?
In fact, let's make this more personal. Consider your situation. If you were to make a list of all the potential people to date in your social circles right now, how long would it be? Can you list a dozen eligible people you'd consider dating? A half dozen? Or, are you, like most single adults, having a tough time coming up with a significant list of potential people to date?
The problem, of course, is not that there are not other compatible, attractive, interesting, fun, and successful singles to date – they are more plentiful than ever. The problem is that most singles just don't know where to find them, especially as a Christian. After you "shop" various church groups and attend like-minded events, where do you go to meet local Christian singles? Of course, a certain group of singles "hook up" at local bars on a routine basis. And some would point to that kind of a scene for finding other singles. But that's not what we're talking about - and neither are you. The focus here is on finding a "certain someone" to date that shares your Christian values and could possibly even be "the one."
That's where dating online comes in. Never before has the single community had such an effective and powerful tool for increasing their chances of not just finding a date, but a serious romantic match - someone that is highly compatible and a potential "keeper."
A Dozen Dates in the Same Room?
Think of it this way: what if, within the next 24 hours, you could be in a room with a dozen or so eligible and compatible singles of the opposite sex? And you could meet with each of them one-on-one. These would be people that not only share your personal faith, but they have a great deal in common with you personally.
And what if you would easily interact with each one of the single people in this room to learn a bit about who they are - not just their preferences, but their personality? You could explore, for example, how you share sense of humor. And what if you knew that each of them was just as interested as you are in finding a person to date? No sleuthing or guesswork involved. They wouldn't be in this room if they were not looking for love.
Would you be interested in finding a room like this? If you're like most, you would. What single person wouldn't? Entering this room would instantly and dramatically increase your chances for finding a date worth keeping. And that's exactly what dating online does for you and your love life. Let's say this straight: your chances of meeting compatible singles are hugely increased by dating online.
Why? Because a competent online dating site literally brings the single population to you. Finding a date is no longer a scavenger hunt with your heart. You simply consider the various options that are literally at your fingertips. Your computer keyboard is all that stands between you and finding a date.
Expanding Your Dating Horizons
After too much dissatisfaction and defeat with the more traditional dating route, or lack thereof, Jennifer finally gave into dating online. "I eventually realized I had little to lose and a lot to gain. Besides, I wanted to put a stop to dealing with blurred lines," she said. "I'm tired of asking: 'Are we friends? Or are we dating?' Online, I can do three dates a week with three different guys if I want to. In my regular life, I don't think I even meet three new guys in a week, let alone a single guy that would possibly like to date me."
Jennifer also learned that dating online allows her to set her own parameters on whether she would like to consider finding a date that is outside of her hometown of Macon, Georgia. She decided that an hour and a half drive to Atlanta was a small price to pay for not just finding a date, but the love of her life. And that's exactly where she found him. Todd, a manager of a sales team for a pharmaceutical company, had never been to Macon before he met Jennifer online. But as Jennifer eventually said, "We got to the point where both of our cars could almost drive that stretch of Interstate 75 between our homes automatically."
The point is that whether you live in a large city or a small town, dating online allows you to expand your dating horizons - and, thus, your chances for finding true love. After all, there have been countless couples living across the country from each other, not to mention living across town, who would have never found each other had it not been for dating online.
1. Wilson, Craig (2001). Many singles happy to be alone. The Olympian.
About the Authors
Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott are founders of RealRelationships.com and co-directors of the Center for Relationship Development on the campus of Seattle Pacific University where Les is a professor of psychology and Leslie is a marriage and family therapist. The couple also serves as the co-founders of MyRightSomeone, a new kind of Christian dating website that unites Christian singles in search of love that lasts a lifetime. Les and Leslie's best-selling books include the award-winning Saving Your Marriage Before it Starts, Love Talk, L.O.V.E.: Uncovering Your Personal Love Style, and Crazy Good Sex. They have been featured on Oprah, CBS This Morning, CNN, and The View, and in USA Today and the New York Times. For additional information, visit their website at www.RealRelationships.com.
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