I have to tell this amazing story. God took something I had waited 10 years on and made a miracle out of it. I had actually given it to the Lord, thinking it wasnít important anymore. Wow! Did He teach me a few lessons?
Iím not a musician or a great singer. I have been in a choir most all of my life. Never had any solos. From the Cherub Choir, to the Sanctuary Choir, since I was 6 years old, never a solo. I can carry a tune and I grew up singing with my sister for prayer meetings, family gatherings, funerals or etc.
We did go to a small church of about 30 people for a while and God did use me there to be on the praise team. I was so excited. After a couple of years we started attending a larger church for the childrenís programs and fell in love with it. I joined the choir. Thinking God had used me at the small church, I thought He would use me there. At this church, there is great God given talent. Beautiful voices that sound like angels, that will just melt your heart!
After a while and few struggles, I realized I would not be used there, the same way as before. I have a soft voice and just love to sing. Iím not great with singing parts. My sister always sang the parts. I sang melody, doing my own thing. I learned that some of these people had ranges and strength in their voices that it would take a miracle for me to attain. I finally gave up and told the Lord I was there to give Him glory, not get it. I wanted Him to use whoever He wanted to sing those solos that would be anointed and draw the hearts of the people. If it was not going to be me, I would be fine, it was all about Him.
After 8 years, the minister of music asked me to sing on the praise team. I was like a deer in headlights. I knew it had to be God and stepped out in faith. I have not done it since, but I wonít limit God to one time. I will do it again, if the opportunity ever arises.
I wrote a song about 10 years ago. I would sing it over and over. I finally gave it to a lady at the small church. She kept it for a year and when I asked her about it, she was not able to put it to music. I was crushed. It was simply not Godís timing. I told the Lord that was okay and put it in a drawer. 3 years ago, I was singing praises to the Lord and another song came to me. I just had to write it down. I would sing it to the Lord myself, just like the other one. Finally, I gave them both to another lady. Still nothing! I do believe they both tried, it was just not Godís timing. I once again, gave it to the Lord and told Him I would sing them to Him and I have. Over and over!
My husband comes home one day from work and says he wants a copy of my songs. I said, ďWhat, Why?Ē A man he worked with had a sister who he thought could put my songs to music. He wanted to take them to her. I was shocked and surprised and thought what could it hurt? She called me within 2 weeks. She had them to music and wanted to work with my voice to make sure the chords were right.
Then, the miracle! She had a friend with a recording studio. I could make a soundtrack, if I wanted to and she would work with me until I was comfortable going into the studio. I asked her how much she would charge and she told me nothing. It was her ministry to help others that had a message in their songs. Words can not explain the spiritual high that I received from her phone call and Godís grace. I was not out to make a professional cd. I really just wanted it on sheet music for my family to play or sing. I never dreamed of a soundtrack, with me as the demonstration voice.
I have gone all my life with a soft, ordinary voice that was nothing special. Never getting the solos, or even asked to sing at other special occasions unless it was with my sister. I was always second when it came to singing. If they needed one person, it would be her. I even got enough boldness to try out for a solo one time against her. She got it. I have told the Lord, if I never get to sing myself, I still know that I am a child of God and He loves me. It is not about the singer, but the song. It took me a while to mature and realize this over the years. I had to rid myself of jealousy or thinking I was not good enough. I just wanted to have a gift or talent for the Lord. I wanted to touch hearts for God. I learned later in life, that I did have gifts and talents, just in other areas.
Needless to say, to even be involved in this project is a dream come true. At this point in my life, I didnít even care if my voice was on it. Just to think, that others would sing the words that God gave me and hearts might be touched, was enough for me. That was the goal. Being the demonstration voice was just a plus. The lady told me I had a beautiful voice and she would love to work with me. I have heard that before, mostly from family and a few church ladies. I know God was trying to build my confidence. If He opens a door for me, He will give me the ability to walk through it and do it.
So as I do this, it is with a different mindset. For the Lord, of course, but I want to do it for my Mom and Dad. They are my biggest fans. I want others to sing my songs and be blessed. It is about the message and the presence of the Lord that I experienced when writing those songs. If others can hear my songs, be encouraged or uplifted and their hearts become softened to the spirit of the Lord, then I have had a dream come true.
I may have had to wait 10 years and do a little growing in the Lord, but God was working on me the whole time. It usually is us, that has to do the changing and He is waiting on us. Then, He can then do His miracles and He does. He is incredible!