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Let It Go
by Bob Dean
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Let It Go

Let it go! Are you now or have you ever been in a relationship with someone who is emotionally immature? Does this person show signs of self-centeredness? Are they unstable & unpredictable? Are they over dependent or have an undo need to demand attention? Have you been with someone who is an emotional or verbal manipulator/abuser? Does this person seem to always shift the blame to you, while never accepting any? Do you feel threatened & controlled? Are you laden with guilt over their ways? Let it go!

“To let go doesn't mean to stop caring,
it means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off,
it's the realization I can't control another. “

Let it go! There is no use in trying to be converse with an emotional manipulator. You make a statement and it will be turned around. Even as you are hearing the words "I'm sorry" you get the sense they really do NOT mean itl - but since they’ve said the words you’re pretty much left with nothing more to say. Either that or you suddenly find yourself babysitting their angst!! Under all circumstances if you feel this angle is being played - don’t capitulate! Do not care take - do not accept an apology that feels insincere or consistently failed. Let it go!

“To let go is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness,
which means the outcome is not in my hands. “

Let it go! Emotional manipulators are excellent guilt mongers. They can make you feel guilty for speaking up or not speaking up, for being emotional or not being emotional enough, for giving and caring, or for not giving and caring enough. Anything is fair game to guilt with an emotional manipulator. Guilt is not the only form of this but it is a potent one. Most of us are pretty conditioned to do whatever is necessary to reduce our feelings of guilt. Another powerful emotion that is used is sympathy. An emotional manipulator is a great victim. They inspire a profound sense of needing to support, care for and nurture. They’ll make you feel guilty if you don’t “save” them…time after time after time. Let it go!

“To let go is not to try to change or blame another,
I can only change myself.
To let go is not to care for,
but to care about. “

Let it go! Emotional manipulators somehow have the ability to impact the emotional climate of those around them. They can suck the very life and air out of a room! When an emotional manipulator is sad or angry room thrums with it - it brings a deep instinctual response to find some way to equalize the emotional climate and the quickest route is by making the emotional manipulator feel better - fixing whatever is broken for them. Let it go!

“To let go is not to fix,
but to allow God to fix.
To let go is not to be in the middle, arranging all outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their own outcomes. “

Let it go! Emotional manipulators have no sense of accountability. They take no responsibility for themselves or their behavior - it is always about what everyone else has "done to them". One of the easiest ways to spot an emotional manipulator is that they often attempt to establish intimacy through the early sharing of deeply personal information that is generally of the "hook-you-in-and-make-you-sorry-for-me". Let it go!

“To let go is not to be protective,
but to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less and love more! “

How to recognize people with bipolar disorder…

People who experience dramatic mood swings, ranging from being extremely 'high', to feeling very depressed, sad & hopeless are often diagnosed with bipolar disorder. They move back again to the 'high' state, often with some periods of normal mood in between. Besides mood changes, there are also severe changes in energy & behavior. The periods of highs & lows are called episodes of mania & depression, which have very different & recognizable symptoms:

Signs & symptoms of mania and/or a manic episode can include:

An increased level of energy & activity, often restlessness
Excessively 'high', overly good & euphoric mood
Extreme irritability
'Racing' thoughts, talking very fast, moving from one idea to the other
Difficulties in concentrating, easily distracted
Reduced need for sleep
Unrealistic beliefs in own abilities & powers
Poor judgment
Periods of spending large amounts of money
Increased sexual drive
Abuse of drugs, particularly cocaine, alcohol & sleeping medications
Provocative, intrusive or aggressive behavior
Patients deny that something is wrong

Signs and symptoms of depression (or a depressive episode) can include:

Lasting sad, anxious or empty mood
Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism
Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness
Loss of interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed, including sex
Decreased energy, a feeling of fatigue or being 'slowed down'
Difficulties in concentrating, remembering things or in making decisions
Restlessness or irritability
Sleeping too much, or not able to sleep
Changes in appetite & weight loss or gain
Chronic pain or other symptoms that are not caused by physical illness or injury
Thoughts of death or suicide, or suicide attempts
Note: Qoutations taken from “The Grace Awakening”, by Charles Swindoll

Read more articles by Bob Dean or search for other articles by topic below.

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