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I Don't Feel Like Going On
by Janice S Ramkissoon
Not For Sale
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On Thursday Morning, the 5th day of November 2009, I was talking to God about the way I felt. I recorded our conversation and today I share this prayer with you. It started off as a poem but I needed to be freed from the box that held me in. This is the result – I call it my open surgery. May it be a blessing to you.
*****Not yet edited but wanted to encourage you***

I don’t feel like going on…
I don’t feel like sharing…
Giving up is not an option
But I am so weary…
I feel like I am being pulled
in different directions
I feel like no one really cares
That no one understands my pain
I feel like an outcast
Like I don’t belong
I want to push ahead
But I don’t feel like going on.

I know it’s not about my feelings
For it’s Your strength, Lord
That keeps me going
It’s Your grace and mercy
That finds me standing

I know it’s not about my feelings
For You took the stripes without complaining
You took the bitter cup for me
You were ridiculed for me
You were spat upon for me
You carried that heavy cross for me

I know it’s not about my feelings
For You have taken all my sins
You carried them to Calvary
You carried it all for me
All the pain are nailed
All my sorrows and my shame
On the cross You bore it all
‘It Is Finished!’ Your final call

So I know the lion is chained
And though he roars ‘Still’ I shall remain
For you are God and you alone decide my purpose
I am passing through this valley for a purpose
For at an appointed time as I am operating in my calling
I will know that I am sent ‘for such a time as this’.

Thank You Lord for Your gentle reminder
Thank You for Your blessings
Thank You for Your love and Your Grace
Thank You for Forgiveness
Thank You for loving me unconditionally
You are my hearts desire and I long to worship You
It is Your love that I crave
For Your love have never fails

‘Create in me a clean heart’
‘Renew a right spirit in me’
Protect me from harm
Let no weapon formed against me prosper
You are Lord of my Life and I Adore You
You have raised me from the dead
And clothed me in Your righteousness;
Giving me the garment of praise
For the spirit of heaviness

And I was created for Your pleasure
So I rededicate my life to You lord
I give You my all
All the gifts You have given me
I dedicate them to You Lord
That they may be used
For Your purpose
That You Oh Lord will be honoured
That Your name will be glorified
And You will use me as a vessel of honour
As an ambassador for You
That souls will be drawn to You.

To you I give the honour
The glory as my life testifies of Your love.

Copyright © Janice S Ramkissoon, 2009

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Member Comments
Member Date
Anita Johnson 31 Oct 2010
Janice, I believe many of us can identify with these thoughts and feelings expressed here.I like the song by the Crabb Family.. He never promised the cross would not get heavy and the hill would not be hard to climb;he never offered our victories without fighting, but he said help would always come in time;just remember when you're standing in the valley of decision and the adversary says'Give in",just hold on, our God will show up and he will take you through the fire again.
Thomas Kittrell 27 Oct 2010
Often there are many who care, but we just can't see that sometimes. This is not unique to any one person, for probably we all feel that way from time to time. I have been there and done that, so I can relate. This morning in our community Bible Study we were discussing Job. As I was thinking about all that was taken from him, I thought, I only have to deal with one or a few problems at a time. God still leaves much to be thankful for, and I dare not forget that. Satan would love to have me lose my focus on those remaining blessings and only look at my sorrows, pains, or problems. Mary and I are having to lean on God heavily right now, as we are facing what seems to be a giant of a problem with a family member, but we will let God carry us through it. As someone said, "Don't tell God how big your problems are, but rather, tell your problems how big God is." Praying for you, and I know you are praying for us. God bless.
Jody Goode 27 Oct 2010
As I see the pain and trouble in so many lives of those I love, I wonder how any of us find the will to open our eyes another day except for the love our Lord has shown. In Him is my strength and will to live and love as He and show that to others that they, too, may find hope and healing. I am so blessed by your tender heart and your desire to openly bare it so others might find blessing in the Lord of our salvation as you have! Love and hugs, Janice! Jody


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