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Schizophrenic Spirit
by Gerry Bloemendaal
10/23/10
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Schizophrenic Spirit

Schizo?
Me?
I donít understand
what you are saying!
This inner unrest,
this swirling and turning.
Well....,
tossing seas swell
up and down!

I ask
hearing lots of noise
Life's music speaking
many a tone voicing.

I ask not
I hear even more!
Whisperings demands shouting
lies grabbing hold of my life
shaking me empty handed
robbing me blind.

I seek earnestly!
finding all kind of things,
I mine life even deeper
precious stones galore
down deep,
all up for grabs!

I don't see, walking in darkness
tripping over sliding backwards
roots and dead things
tripping me over
seeing my old growth forest
turning dark and scary at night.

I listen intently!
comprehending lies rule!
And so I wait for light,
arriving nowhere
but the agony of my heart!

Fallen and falling,
giving out,
beaten badly,
robbed empty,
sick and alone,
dying more terrorising fear!

So captivated
hot and all yucky
I must eat the food served!
Having it stuffed down my throat
and choking on it!

I know lies scar
my soul badly,
every time again
I'm untrue!

Oh yes,
Jesus is right,
I knew it all along,
Truth speaks right
in Love alone!
That is what
hurts so much,
misery abounding,
my love is cold
stone dead heart!
Where is my Saviour?
Where am I?

Oh my comfort,
I'm a goner!
all twisted,
around the bend
seeing that Dragon
eating me!

Mad man!
Wise man!
True man!
Sick man!
Simple man...!

Where am I going from here?
Down the chute I go
twisting as I descend
right through my darkness
spooks and all!

Laughingly,
enjoying the ride immensely!
Yet like always,
arriving far too late!
And so unable to stop,
wrecking everything
before I come to a halt.

Just a few seconds
and I'm utterly out of tune!
Flying right off into disaster
time and again!

And so divided I cycle
right throughout myself
all broken to pieces I am!
For I am just one I
seeing many selves
scattered right throughout me!

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