Sex, Arrrghh! You can’t talk about that! Oh yes we can, and we’re going to be frank as well.
Where the Bible doesn’t say much about dating (simply because it didn’t exist in the form we know it until the 50’s) it does say a lot about proper and improper sexual attitudes.
We’ve all got some idea of how far we can, or will, go in a sexual situation and I am sure you have asked the question ‘how far is too far?’
First let us blow away a myth. There is no such thing as sex before marriage! No it’s not just us crazy Christians trying to ignore the problem! I mean it. As far as the Bible is concerned when you have sex two people become as “one flesh.” In God’s eyes at that moment you are married. If you then go on to have other sexual partners you are committing adultery.
Where do you draw the line? If you are asking how far is too far then you are asking the wrong question! Scientifically speaking you can go just about “all the way” whilst technically staying a virgin. However in order to retain your purity starting down the road of “physical intimacy” means that you have already lost the battle.
The first battle is purity of mind. Intimacy costs commitment. Until you have the commitment to spend, don’t even think about going shopping, not even window shopping!Real purity always starts in the mind. Rom 12:2 says “Be not fashioned according to this world: but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, and you may prove what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”
Our friends are all “doing it” why shouldn’t we? Lets reshape our thinking to “God doesn’t want me to do it, so what gives me the right?” Our God has created us with a whole roller coaster of emotions and physically intimate possibilities, He has also given us the free will to use them, how and when we like. If you want to get the best that He has to offer then follow His rules.
Outside a marriage relationship sex can be a highly volatile thing. There is often guilt and fear, no matter what precautions you use. You will get hurt if everything goes wrong and your relationship ends. Believe me, even if you have no regrets, it’s not only your life you are playing with! God has given us some instructions to get the very best out of our sex lives, but we need to follow his guidelines!
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