Joy....I always wanted God to hit me over the head with it like a happy baseball bat. I wanted a home run, right out of the park. Instead, I occasionally felt a wee thump like a little joy walnut that would fall from the sky and I complained about the headache.
I wanted Joy to come over me with a flood that fills me like a dry river bed. Instead, God allowed pain that brought me to my knees in the dust.
I wanted Him to give it to me like a diploma, a certificate of completion. Like all was said and done and now I would have it...JOY! Instead, I found out that I was enrolled in the school of misunderstanding and missed opportunity where I had to learn from my mistakes.
Joy...I wanted it to come to me like a wild stallion that would pause only long enough for me to jump on its back. Joy and I would ride the wild wind and be in ecstasy. Instead, my mule sidled up and offered to carry my burdens and I wondered why it had to be such a lowly beast.
I wanted God to give me the Giant Sequoia of Joy whose roots dug deep and limbs spread high to Heaven. Majestic. Awe inspiring. Instead, He gave it to me like a creeping vine that covered my life with His Mercy. Sprouted from the smallest, dawdling seed, this vine slowly but surely covered the crags of my heart; filling in the rough spots along the way. One little leaf at a time, until one day there it was...JOY!