Have I found a good way to live...Have I lived my life to the fullest yet? Is there any better way for me?
I know you have been faithful, you have been so truthful that no men can actually deny your existence, for those who have had a taste of your goodness, they know who you really are, they know you are the only one True God. You created all beings, all the moving things. By your Word, the world comes into existence. Only by your Word, that we have our physical bodies and we can move and breathe freely and all by your Grace and Mercy. What if you wipe us out of this world, we are forever doomed, we are forever gone!
Perhaps, 'humility' is what I need to learn more, when life gets tough, deep in my heart I am still grumbling, complaining, arguing about you, in the deepest in my heart - I reckon, I reason, I wonder....I just cannot fathom all of this, for the things that I still need to learn, for the things that I still do not understand. I realized how little my knowledge is, I realized how I need to draw near to you that maybe some days you will
let me know the things that I do not know...maybe some days, when I am humbled enough, you will lead me on a straight path with clear understanding...
Is life still worth living for, Oh God....
I am all by myself here....I feel like all alone...the good memories has past behind me now, the things you have blessed with, once that was mine, now belongs to someone else, once that was mine, now it's no more....I do not own the memories anymore, I can rewind and try to remember them, they do not belong to me anymore, and I can only remember bits and pieces of them....they stay with me only for a while, then they will fly away and never return....
When my head turns grey, not sure how many memories would I have, how many memories would remain forever mine....Oh Lord, I still feel like you have taken away my everything....perhaps they are only for my good, maybe it's rather a good thing for me not to have them, not to own them....I know, you know what's best for me, I am just too little that I know nothing about, I am just not humble enough before you, that I should lean on your understanding not mine, I should humble myself, not reason anything against you!!
Why should I argue, reason with the one that know it all!? Why should I do such foolish thing, will I ever win?
When you humble me, all I can do is to accept your discipline, can I ever reject your discipline, can I ever reject your teaching?
Lord, I have nothing to say about my circumstance, my emotions...they should not own me, but I let them own me all the times, emotions can take me away, emotions can drive me crazy, emotions can bring me down, emotions can even kill my everything...
Teach me Lord, and save me out of turmoils, out of my frustration and disgrace, lift me up Lord, up above my circumstance and my emotions. Let me live at peace, be with your presence where I can feel safe at last...
PLEASE ENCOURAGE AUTHOR,
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