I want to breathe again, I cry out. I fight to be heard in this mundane turmoil I call life.
No one hears me; fear outweighs my desire for release.
My tears of weakness cry out for liberation.
This troubling that causeís heart wrenching pain is of no worry to others.
I feel as if I am choking with grief, buckets of hail falling on my tiresome body.
Somewhere along the way I lost sight of my dreams and succumbed to confusion and defeat.
Limping in agony, I place myself together, like a puzzle finding its pieces, in order not to draw increasing attention.
Family and friends are but few; whispers of abandonment and rejection lie awake within me. I know I should not listen, but reality cries out loudly.
I believed in making a difference in this place we have forsaken and made our own. Our world is far from where the Creator began. To think how far we have allowed such evil to prevail where once to walk with God, in the Garden of Eden, was a dream that was intended to be reality!
When did I begin to let weariness set in? Where is my strength from my youth?
I must find a way toward love again. Iím reminded of 1 John 4:16, ďSo we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in himĒ. ESV
My heart has searched in the depths of the valleys, but not in the freedom of His love.
How can I feel sorrow when Iím enveloped in Godís abiding love living free within me?
For years Iíve partnered with the lies warring within me. Iíve allowed them to harbor in vein and it is time I take my stand.
Refresh and renew my strength in you Lord. Allow my heart to cry out passionately for the one true God.
Belief now overshadows my inner weaknesses to thrive with the strength from our Lord and Savior.
This pain Iíve endured is worth all the glory it will bring my heavenly Father. I will choose happiness, I will choose love, and I will choose to show others the kindness Iíve sought after. For the gift of love is receiving after all.
I am eagerly waiting the day I get to be with our King of Kings, to be held in the arms of our loving Lord. Until then, I will enjoy his gifts of love sent to us through others he has so graciously allowed to fill my life.
I will no longer let the chains grab hold and suffocate me, but I will look up out of the river of life into falling raindrops of love and breathe in the sweet aroma of the Lordís presence.
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