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When the sun is away...
by Whitney Nemecek
03/27/04
Not For Sale
Author requests article critique


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There were nights I'd stare at the stars
And they'd remind me of your eyes.
The moon heard every word
I was wanting to tell you.
I spilled my soul for no one--
Words flowing like the Milky Way.
You were the wish I placed upon
The shooting stars that passed.
I didn't notice the freezing wind,
Wasn't frightened by the darkness.
My sight stayed fixed upon the heavens
Looking at every star again and again.
Each one that my eyes touched
Represented a memory of you:
Bright, beautiful, and distant--
Lasting me the rest of my life.

If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW

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Member Comments
Member Date
Deborah Porter  27 Apr 2004
Oh Whitney! I'm only just getting a chance to read your poem - what a beautiful piece. Haunting and very atmospheric. Just lovely! Love always, Deb x
Lynne Cox 29 Mar 2004
"Bright, beautiful, and distant" - I loved that sentence.
Christine Rhee 28 Mar 2004
Ohhhhhhhh, Whitney! Your pen quickens my soul, reviving the sleeping places...
Katie Hart 27 Mar 2004
I'm not much at critiquing free verse, but I loved it!




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