I am well aware how difficult it is in these days in our sex-obsessed culture to take a stand for premarital purity. However, you don’t have to look far to see all the disastrous effects of the so-called “sexual revolution.” The main reason for this is that God designed sexual intimacy to be experienced between a man and a woman who are in a committed lifelong relationship (marriage). Because He loves us, He wants what is best for us. When this plan is not followed, there can be serious negative consequences.
Here is a list of ten reasons to wait until marriage to engage in sexual activity…
1. Sexual intimacy outside of marriage carries the obvious risk of pregnancy and/or sexually transmitted diseases. No birth control method is 100% effective. There also is no birth control method that can protect from all STDs.
2. When they are married, a man and a woman can feel more freedom to give and respond physically and emotionally to each other without holding back. This is because there is deep level of trust, security and acceptance that can grow out of the marriage relationship that is not experienced outside of it.
3. When a couple crosses over into physical intimacy prematurely, they tend to become pre-occupied with that aspect of the relationship, neglecting everything else. They may tend to begin to see each other as sex objects, instead of a whole person. This will have a deteriorating effect on the relationship which can carry over into marriage, if the couple stays together that long.
4. For girls and women - Men are less likely to commit to a lifelong relationship with a woman if they are able to have sex without the commitment. According to a recent survey, one of the main reasons men give for not committing to a relationship is that sex is so easy to get. In other words, if they can have pleasure without responsibility, why not go for it?
5. Sexual intimacy before marriage often results in either one or both partners being deeply wounded emotionally, especially if the couple breaks off the relationship. The sexual union was designed to be a permanent bond and it cannot be broken without damage. This is especially true for the Christian. The joining together physically of a man and a woman is a symbolic act of “becoming one” as described in the Bible. The implications of this are of course very serious and not to be taken lightly.
6. If a couple has had premarital sexual experience, after marriage they may have a problem in trusting each other fully, especially if there have been other sexual partners.
7. When the individuals in a marriage have participated in premarital sexual relations with other people, they may tend to compare (intentionally or not) their spouses with other partners they have had. Also, memories can interfere with enjoyment of the relationship as “ghosts” from past relationships create barriers between the two.
8. Couples who live together prior to marriage are more likely to get divorced than those who don’t (this has been strongly indicated through statistics.) So, the idea of living together for the purpose of having a “trial marriage” apparently hurts rather than helps the couple in the long run if they decide to actually get married.
9. Premarital sexual experiences can lead to feelings of guilt, low self-esteem, anger, etc. The individual may act out these feelings through self-destructive behavior such as substance abuse or promiscuity.
10. Premarital sex cheats us out of the best that God has for us. Sex between a man and a woman is much more than a just a physical act. It involves emotions, the spirit and the mind as well as the body. Only in marriage can two people fully express themselves sexually and experience all that God designed them to experience in this area.
I could come up with more, but I had to stop somewhere. I should perhaps mention that there is hope for those who have been sexually intimate before marriage. God is forgiving and can help to restore an individual who has made mistakes. However, it is not an easy road. Prevention is far better than the cure, as they say, and in this case the preventive method would be abstinence.