This is the wrong question to ask! The correct question, and the issue we must deal with is this - is your life out of your control but you don’t want to give it over to God’s control?
Either this is the case or you are literally stating that there is no control at all being exercised over your life which means that you don’t believe that God is controlling the affairs of your life!
Now some – or many – will argue with this perspective, but what else can it mean? For the lost sinner who has yet to elect Jesus Christ as his or her Lord the control that God is exerting over their life to draw them to Jesus cannot be seen for these things can only be seen and recognized by the spiritually minded.
However, for the person who has elected Christ Jesus to be Lord, he or she needs to come quickly to the understanding that God’s Word explains to us that HE is indeed in control of the lives of His children! The affairs, issues, situations and circumstances that develop or which we encounter in life are all in the hands of our Heavenly Father which He uses as tools and instruments to form and fashion our lives to be conformed to show unto the world the image of His FIRSTBORN SON – Jesus Christ!
Romans 8:28-31 “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren. Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified. What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?”
When we experience developments or incidents in life that seem to be carrying us away from our intended desires, goals and ambitions; when we experience gut wrenchingly painful events that appear will leave our lives shipwreck … we must understand that the control is in God’s hands and that God’s hands are working to form our lives to an outcome of HIS choosing, His purpose, His plans and His priorities!
What makes this all so uncomfortable, even at times unbearable is that in truth WE want to be the ones in control and that, unless and until we understand God has a predetermined plan for His children generally and for each child specifically … and that these are plans that are good, and acceptable, and perfect FOR us …we will not be able to surrender our will to be in the place of control that belongs only and rightfully to God our Father!
And as long as we are refusing to release our attempts at controlling life, there will be increasing developments and events that bring increasingly severe discomfort and pain as they manifest! What is this saying, that God is causing us hurt?
Not – at – all!
This is telling us that the more we interfere with God’s control the more we expose ourselves to either: Self-inflicted developments that hurt us; or developments that are bound to occur in most people’s lives will hurt us because we have not yet come to anchor our hearts and minds on Christ Jesus! We have not yet learned to rely upon His integrity to the degree that we experience peace not matter what circumstances befall us.
This leads us to two important pieces of information that can be frustrating and at the same time most reassuring! First: The more we wrestle against God’s control of our lives the more pressure God will apply to correct this faulty condition of our heart! (See Hebrews 12) Second: That there will come a point that God will say “enough”!
Isaiah 57:16-19 “For I will not contend forever, nor will I always be angry; for the spirit would fail before Me, and the souls which I have made. For the iniquity of his covetousness I was angry and struck him; I hid and was angry, and he went on backsliding in the way of his heart. I have seen his ways, and will heal him; I will also lead him, and restore comforts to him and to his mourners. "I create the fruit of the lips: peace, peace to him who is far off and to him who is near,'' says the Lord, "And I will heal him.''
The question is, do we need to carry this struggle to the point that our spirits are at the point of failing? Do we really want to covet the control (that is rightfully God’s alone) so much and for so long that we suffer a spiritual breakdown before surrendering to what will produce peace in us?
The answer – of course not!
James 1:2-4 “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.”
Isaiah 26:3 “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.”