I became a Christian later in life, at the age of 32, that was 10 years ago. In 2010, I was convicted to begin studying the Bible, not just casually read it as I had done previously. I am coming to know Christ in a brand new way and writing is my outlet and record of what he is teaching me. I am writing to discover the things that I know. This article is just a testimony of how I came to know Christ and true love.
Learning how to love has not been easy for me. Iím 42 and I feel that I am just now beginning to experience love. I believe this world has a distorted and perverted perception of what love is and I certainly got caught up in it. I believe the majority of people on this earth have never experienced true, real love. I believe this world has manufactured a false love and everyone is buying it and believing itís the real thing. I knew there was more to love than what I had experienced and I wanted it!
Iíve believed in God my entire life. My parents believed in Him, my grandparents believed in Him, and it was just a natural thing for me to believe in Him as well. I believe God created me and Iíve always thought He loved me. At the age of 32 though, I began to question God, my beliefs, and love. My second marriage had just ended and I was overwhelmed by my failures. I wanted to be a good wife and I desperately wanted to be loved. I justified my first divorce by choosing to believe it was his fault, that he wasnít capable of giving me the love that I deserved. But a second divorce was much harder, I couldnít believe that it was just him this time, I knew that I was equally responsible. I knew I was not a lovable person and the reality of it hit me hard, I grieved. I needed to be loved. I had no idea where or how to find love. I had always looked for love in a man. I didnít have any girl friends to turn to, because I never learned how to be a friend. I felt completely alone. For the first time in my life I had absolutely no one to turn too.
And then I read Romans 10:9-10; ďThat if you confess with your mouth, ďJesus is Lord,Ē and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.Ē At that moment I realized that believing in God was not enough, God was not the way to heaven. I needed Jesus, I had lived without him for 32 years. I understood that I deserved to be punished. I believed that Christ thought of me as he hung dying on that cross. I repented and I said good-bye to my old life, and I chose to live a new life with Jesus. Iíve always thought that God loved me but I never felt His love, until this day. I knew God sent His son Jesus to die for me, Jesus entered into my heart and I received His Spirit. I felt His love, I had found the ďrealĒ love that I had been searching for my entire life. I was not alone anymore, He would be with me forever and ever and ever.