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Cardboard Friend
by Julie Michaelson
06/07/10
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A friend
loves
at all
times.
[Proverbs 17:17]
***********************
"Life is full of disappointments,
Lord."

[CALM VOICE.]
"Yes,
child."

"Yeah;
but, after 54 years,
You think I'd be
USED to it,
by now."

[CALM NOD.]

"After all....
I wasn't born
YESTERDAY."

[CHUCKLE.]
"To Me
you were,
little one."

(Snort.)
"I guess,
I'm all plump,
and whiny,
and squinty,
then,
HUH?"

[GENTLE BURST
OF LAUGHTER
FROM THE RIGHT
SIDE OF THE THRONE.]

(Look up.)
"But.....I'm JUST
the SAME way..
NOW,
LORD!"

[NOD.]
[SMILE.]

"I'm just not
LIKE that,
Lord."

"Like what,
Mein kin'der."

"Cardboard!
I'm not CARDBOARD!
When I'm a FRIEND....
I'll go over to their
HOUSE; I don't care
WHAT THEIR HOUSE LOOKS LIKE!
Or...WHAT SIDE OF TOWN IT IS!
Or...IF their GRASS has been
MOWED..or NOT!
Or....HOW MANY DOGS AND
CATS, THEY HAVE!
Or...HOW MUCH CLUTTER
THERE IS!"
(Grimace.)
"And.....ya don't have
to MAKE ARRANGEMENTS
to SEE me! You can just....
SPLAT....CALL ME UP,
and say;

'Whatcha' DOIN'?'
and I'll say,
'NOTHIN'!'
and you can go,
'Okay! Wanna'
come OVER, to watch
this stupid MOVIE
I got while I was shoppin'
at WALMART?'
and I say,
'SURE! But.....I'm
not all....DRESSED UP,
or NOTHIN'! And, my
HAIR looks like a
PORCUPINE'S been NESTING
in it, all DAY!'
and you'd go,
'Who gives a sh...t?'
And, I say;
'And, my JEANS are all
COVERED in CAT FUR!'
And, you'd go:
'So, what ELSE is new?'
And I add,
'And, I ain't BLUEBLOOD!
My ANCESTORS were all a
bunch'a NERE`DO`WELL'S...
who BARELY MADE IT ON
THE BOAT...while the
POLISH POLICE..
were chasin' after THEM!'
And you'd go:
'Yeah? I'm real
IMPRESSED! Do ya
want POPCORN, or
a DORITO? That's all
I GOT!'
And, I add:
'And I'm still
taking antibiotics, so
I may have to jump up
and run to your BATHROOM
a couple times!'
And you'd say;
'Whatever makes ya HAPPY!
Just don't use up all my
TOILET PAPER, or I'm
gonna CHARGE you!'

(Smile!)
"To ME,
THAT'S a FRIEND!"

[PATIENT SILENCE.]

"I ain't CARDBOARD,
LORD! I'm not a
CARDBOARD FRIEND!
I'm the GENUINE
ARTICLE!"

[SMILE.]
"You don't need to
shout,
little one."

(Shout.)
"YEAH!
I DO!"
(Irritable squint.)
"I'M JUST DISAPPOINTED!
Who ARE these PEOPLE?"

"Who,
child."

(Impatient squirm.)
"LORD?
Sometimes, I think
Y'ur reading the NEWSPAPER......
or, workin' on a CROSSWORD PUZZLE,
while I'm TALKIN'
to YOU!"

[BURST OF LAUGHTER.
IT RUMBLES THROUGH
THE THRONE ROOM.
A COUPLE BIRDS,
WHO HAVE JUST ARRIVED
FROM THE GULF
OIL SPILL
AND HAVE DIPPED
THEIR LITTLE BEAKS
INTO THE WATER OF THE RIVER OF
LIFE IN FRONT OF THE
THRONE, FLAP THEIR WINGS
AND FLY UP TO
THE TOP OF THE THRONE
CHAIR: THEY SETTLE THERE,
SQUEAKING AND
FLAPPING THEIR NOW
BEAUTIFUL SATINY WINGS.]
"I AM listening
to your every
precious word,
My child."

(Make a face at the ceiling.)
"WELL.....as I was
SAYING.......
I just don't understand
these types of FRIENDSHIPS:
shallow, and stiff,
and so FORMAL!
ECH!
It's like bein' DEAD!"

[PATIENT SQUINT.]
[HOLD OUT A FINGER
FOR ONE OF THE GULF
OIL-BIRDS-THAT'S-JUST
-ARRIVED-IN-HEAVEN
TO FLY ONTO. THE BIRD'S
NAME IS TWITTER.]
"Who is being
formal,
child."

"A FRIEND!
....Who I thought
was, Ya know:
GENUINE,
and....REAL!"

[WATCH TWITTER
OPENING AND CLOSING
ITS LITTLE BEAK,
MAKING A RAUCOUS
NOISE THAT IS WAY
TOO BIG FOR ITS SIZE.]
[CALM NOD.]
"Ah.
I see."

"Yeah!
What a DISAPPOINTMENT!
It turned out......it was
all just CARDBOARD!
ECH! Who needs THAT?"

[PATIENT SILENCE.]

"Do Ya know...
what I MEAN,
LORD?"
(Squint up at the ceiling.)
"YOU weren't really
ON this earth,
very long.....
HUH?"

[SETTING TWITTER
DOWN, UPON HIS
FOOTSTOOL. ANOTHER
BIRD, ALSO JUST RECENTLY
ARRIVED FROM
THE GULF-OIL-SPILL,
ITS FEATHERS STILL A BIT
DAMP FROM BEING IN
THE WASH TUB SET
RIGHT INSIDE THE
HEAVENLY GATES PREPARED
SPECIFICALLY
FOR ALL THE BIRDS
AND SEA ANIMALS
WHICH ARE
ARRIVING DAILY
FROM THE
GULF COAST OF LOUISIANA,
GEORGIA,
AND SOUTH FLORIDA,
SETTLES DOWN
ON THE FOOTSTOOL ALSO.
ITS NAME IS BUNGEE.]
[WISE NOD.]
"I was
on earth,
child.....
long
enough."
*************************
There is
a friend,
who sticks
closer
than
a
brother.
[Proverbs 18:24]




If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW

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