A word of advice for Christian teen girls
by Frank Bailey
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You finally got the guy you’ve liked all year. Little do you know that he heard that you had a crush on him and had a conversation with the guys in the locker room that he was gonna “tap that” before the year was out. He’s been so nice to you over the last couple of months. He may have bought you flowers, taken you out to dinner, given you expensive jewelry, or even used the “L” word. Just like the fatted calf, you think it’s because you’re special. When in actuality, you’re about to be the main course. Ahh yes, life is great for the fatted calf isn’t it? That is, until the time of the feast. Ladies, please be aware that your feast night is coming, and it’s called PROM NIGHT!!!
PROM NIGHT is a time when unfortunately many teens – even Christian teens are slain in the area of their virginity. There are many guys out there who feel that because they will be spending so much money on you on that day, they should receive something in return. Just remember that to any man who thinks this way, in his eyes you are little more than a prostitute. Even if a guy spends a million dollars on you, you still have the right to say no. You see ladies, you have to realize that there is a big difference between being the right girl, and being the right now girl. There are plenty of good men out there, but unfortunately there are many guys out there who are only looking for the right now girl. The only way that you can know for sure how he really feels about you is if he loves you so much that he’s willing to wait for sex until you both say “I do.”
Right now you need to make a conscious decision that you will not dishonor your body by losing your virginity on prom night. You may think it’s not possible to abstain from sex until marriage, but with God, all things are possible. Now that you are aware that prom night is a time when many Christian teens lose their virginity, make up in your mind that you will not be one of them. Please see below for ten tips on how to remain abstinent. These tips will not only help you on prom night, but at any time you plan on going out on a date.
Ten Tips on how to remain abstinent:
1. Pray together before you go out on a date.
2. Stay away from drugs and alcohol because they will lower your inhibitions.
3. Make sure your parents know who you are going out with, where you are going, and what time you are expected to be home.
4. Talk to your partner and establish boundaries before you go out the door (this should really be done at the beginning of the relationship and not for the first time on prom night).
5. Realize that there are steps to intimacy that begin with the googly eyes, then lead to kissing, then to heavy petting, and from there can quickly lead to sex.
6. Date with another couple, or in groups.
7. Have an escape plan. Always carry a cell phone and pre arrange a back up ride home in case things get sour.
8. Stick to your boundaries. If it gets to the point where you end up at a hotel, or at someone’s house and no one is home, the date ends immediately.
9. Never take your eyes off your drink.
10. Always remember that 1 Cor. 10:13 says “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.”
Contrary to popular belief, being a virgin is not a curse. Boyfriends come and go, and although we serve a forgiving God, your virginity is something that you can only lose once. When you choose to have sex with someone, you are giving them your best. You are sharing the most intimate parts of yourself. That privilege should be given to one man and one man only. And that man is your husband.
MIN. FRANK BAILEY is a certified abstinence instructor and the founder of No Wed No Bed Ministries. He teaches youth in Christian schools and churches throughout the country about the benefits of saving sex until marriage. For booking information, or to sign up for a free webinar for pastors, Christian school officials, and youth leaders regarding the need for Abstinence Education for youth, please call (718)228-4240, or visit www.nowednobed.org.
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