I sat quietly, gazing up at the kaleidoscope before me. The rich reds, regal purples and emerald greens, glowing transparently, as beams of golden sunlight pierced through every fiber of these stained beauties.
She was old and definitely had seen better days, yet there was such warmth about her. Creaky wooden floors, a little warped, held sturdy. The aged oak pews had lost their sheen where many humble souls had sat. There was nothing fancy about her, no chandeliers, or fine linens, but she possessed a peace that seemed to wrap its arms around you like one of my Grandmaís hugs.
Iíve grown to love these people Lord. Their love for you is so genuine.
They possess a simplicity and serenity like I have never before seen. I honestly donít know how much longer I can do this.
What am I even doing here? This is crazy. Ok God, listen up. Put everybody else on hold if you have to, but this has got to be settled today. I canít stay here without some help from you. You know Iím not being fair to the pastor or myself. We just donít believe the same Doctrine. I have believed this Doctrine for Twenty-yearsÖnow you bring me here? Is this some kind of test? If this is a test God, then Iím failing miserably. Lord I need to know! Am I placing more importance on these issues than you are? Unless you show me something different, I canít stay. But Iím not leaving this spot until I get an answer one way or the other.
Tears inched their way down my cheek as I buried my face in my hands. God please help me!
All these years, Iíve been faithfulócommitted, always trying to follow the rules. Lord, Iíve been a Leader, a Man of Position, now I feel like Iím back at square one. Could I have been wrong? I know that you brought me here with a purpose and plan. Am I full of pride? Have I confused a love for truth with religious pride? Why am I so full of doubt and confusion at this stage in my life? Forgive me, if I am guilty of compromise. I realize that IĎm bombarding you with many questions.
Lord--you know my heart. Iím desperate. I need your answers--today!
My troubled heart was suddenly stilled by his gentle voice. His words consumed me, completely crushing the weight of indecision and fear that were suffocating me like a pythonís squeeze.
Hear Oh Israel; the lord our God is one Lord. Though shall love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength. To those who seek to do my Fatherís will; those who seek me with a pure heart and are faithful, in no wise will I cast them out. I look into the heart of each man as though it were a mirror, longing to see my own reflection. For in this I am well pleased. In this man I see a true servant, a child who walks in the likeness of the Father.
Despise not those who see things differently. Discern the heart and spirit of a man. What motive and purpose do you see? Do you see me? Do you see the Fatherís likeness, his ways and character?
Then you see a child of God.
I will never forget this life changing experience. The Lord in his infinite love and mercy heard my cry of desperation. I was comparing and measuring others by my standards and beliefs. I was set free on an old wooden pew, by a voice from Heaven. I traded the love of doctrine for the love of Christ!
He gently scraped the scales from my blinded eyes so that I might see through his. In the solitude of stained glass windows and worn wooden pews, I discovered that my heart was one of many mirrors held in the palm of Godís hand. I only pray that when he looks into my mirror his own reflection he will see.
When Jesus was asked by one of the scribes, to name the greatest commandment, his answer was to love the Lord God First and then to
Love your neighbor as yourself, according to Mark 12:29-31.
Love is the key that unlocks the door to the mirror of oneís heart!
John Wark 2010.
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