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The Land Called Regret
by Laraine Hemrick Horney
04/17/10
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A Land Called “Regret”

I have lived for a long time in a town called Regret.. It is a small town just past city limits of Should’ve.

The town WAS small anyway, but lately it has been getting far too many new-comers, for my taste anyway. I liked it when we were smaller, everyone knew everyone else’s name and story. We never use cars here in Regret because we never want to get anywhere. We just sit and feel sorry for ourselves.

Every Thursday night at Bingo we gather round and talk about going somewhere or doing something, but fear of success, or of the unfamiliar keeps us here. After all, it is safe here, right?

We know the drill. We know how to act in the land of Regret. Nobody attempts anything new. No one wants to change things, because we know just how to act. We can cry with the best of them about our lot in life, and even know a few songs and dances to put on a pretty good show – usually on Tuesday afternoons. They are nearly always sold out.

I hear tell that everywhere else in the country houses are sitting vacant, and property values are down. Not here in Regret. It is standing room only. Heck, there is a waiting list just to rent an apartment. You have to have three really good references of people you have let down in the past, or something you should have done, but just didn’t quite ever get around to doing.

Yessirree, there is a housing boom in Regret. Wish I had bought some of that land down the road to build some condos on. Wish I had saved the money to buy it. Wish I had thought of other ways to invest when I was younger. Wish it wasn’t so dang crowded here…… Maybe I should move a few towns over to If-Onlyville, or Someday looks good too.


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