Then
the man said,
'The woman
whom
You gave
to be
with me,
she gave me
of the
tree,
and
I ate.
[Genesis 3:12]
*******************
"I think he was a
jackass,
Lord."
[PATIENT GAZE.]
"Five minutes in
Eden: and,
he's ALREADY...
playing the wife*-blame-game."
[PATIENT FROWN.]
"Was he an APE,
TOO?"
[CHUCKLE.]
"Don't judge
him too harshly,
kin'der."
"No, I'm SERIOUS!
WAS he an APE?"
[TURN TO HIS
RIGHT.]
[SIGH.]
[GENTLE LAUGHTER
CAN BE HEARD
FROM THE RIGHT
SIDE OF THE THRONE.]
"No,
Mein kin'der."
"How do I KNOW?
I was FORCED to
study DARWINISM,
in HIGH SCHOOL**!"
[NOD.]
"Yeah;
that, and
GEOMETRY..
and DODGE BALL***..
really gave me
a lott'a LIFE SKILLS."
(Snort.)
[PATIENT SIGH.]
"So.....are You
SURE,
that Adam wasn't
an APE?"
[SOLEMN NOD.]
"Was he HAIRY?"
[BURST OF LAUGHTER
FROM THE RIGHT
SIDE OF THE THRONE.]
"Was he SMELLY?"
[CHUCKLING.]
"Did he like FRUIT:
especially,
the BAD KIND****?"
[CHUCKLING.]
"Did he screech
at his barefoot
and...
pregnant WIFE,
a LOT?"
[THRONE ROOM
IS THUNDERING
WITH LAUGHTER.]
"Did he FOLLOW
other ANIMALS,
around: GRUNTING,
and GRIPING?"
"Oy vey 'z mir,
child."
"WELL?
So, what's the DIFFERENCE?"
[PATIENT GAZE.]
"Me,
child.
Me."
**********************
Then God said,
Let Us
make man
in Our image,
according
to Our likeness.
[Genesis 1:26]
__________________
*Eve was pretty
stupid too;
you think.. after
the fifteenth-hundredth
childbirth,
she would'a found a
sharp rock, somewhere,
and performed...
the First Circumcism.
**Philadelphia public
schools: half the time,
the teachers were on
strike, and I got to
stay home, and watch
'The Brady Bunch'
and 'The Partridge Family.'
***Of the three subjects,
dodge ball has proved to
be the most useful:
I learned how to dodge
a lotta' two-legged apes.
****No pun, intended.
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