Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Join Faith
Writers
Forum
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Get Our Daily Devotional             Win A Publishing Package             Detailed Navigation

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!



 
Bible Studies PLEASE ENCOURAGE THE AUTHOR BY COMMENTING

  LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE   SEND A PRIVATE MESSAGE
  HIRE THIS WRITER
REPORT ARTICLE

 TRACK THIS AUTHOR ADD TO MY FAVORITES
corner
What's New
 
corner
 
Was Adam an APE?
by Julie Michaelson
02/24/10
For Sale
Author requests article critique


  Mail
 





Then
the man said,
'The woman
whom
You gave
to be
with me,
she gave me
of the
tree,
and
I ate.
[Genesis 3:12]
*******************
"I think he was a
jackass,
Lord."

[PATIENT GAZE.]

"Five minutes in
Eden: and,
he's ALREADY...
playing the wife*-blame-game."

[PATIENT FROWN.]

"Was he an APE,
TOO?"

[CHUCKLE.]
"Don't judge
him too harshly,
kin'der."

"No, I'm SERIOUS!
WAS he an APE?"

[TURN TO HIS
RIGHT.]
[SIGH.]
[GENTLE LAUGHTER
CAN BE HEARD
FROM THE RIGHT
SIDE OF THE THRONE.]
"No,
Mein kin'der."

"How do I KNOW?
I was FORCED to
study DARWINISM,
in HIGH SCHOOL**!"

[NOD.]

"Yeah;
that, and
GEOMETRY..
and DODGE BALL***..
really gave me
a lott'a LIFE SKILLS."
(Snort.)

[PATIENT SIGH.]

"So.....are You
SURE,
that Adam wasn't
an APE?"

[SOLEMN NOD.]

"Was he HAIRY?"

[BURST OF LAUGHTER
FROM THE RIGHT
SIDE OF THE THRONE.]

"Was he SMELLY?"

[CHUCKLING.]

"Did he like FRUIT:
especially,
the BAD KIND****?"

[CHUCKLING.]

"Did he screech
at his barefoot
and...
pregnant WIFE,
a LOT?"

[THRONE ROOM
IS THUNDERING
WITH LAUGHTER.]

"Did he FOLLOW
other ANIMALS,
around: GRUNTING,
and GRIPING?"

"Oy vey 'z mir,
child."

"WELL?
So, what's the DIFFERENCE?"

[PATIENT GAZE.]
"Me,
child.
Me."
**********************
Then God said,
Let Us
make man
in Our image,
according
to Our likeness.
[Genesis 1:26]


__________________
*Eve was pretty
stupid too;
you think.. after
the fifteenth-hundredth
childbirth,
she would'a found a
sharp rock, somewhere,
and performed...
the First Circumcism.
**Philadelphia public
schools: half the time,
the teachers were on
strike, and I got to
stay home, and watch
'The Brady Bunch'
and 'The Partridge Family.'
***Of the three subjects,
dodge ball has proved to
be the most useful:
I learned how to dodge
a lotta' two-legged apes.
****No pun, intended.





If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW

Read more articles by Julie Michaelson or search for articles on the same topic or others.


Read More - Free Reprints, Main Site Articles, Most Read Articles or highly acclaimed Challenge Articles. Read Great New Release Christian Books for FREE in our Free Reads for Reviews Program. Christian writers can JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and help spread the Gospel.


The opinions expressed by authors do not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.

Hire a Christian Writer, Christian Writer Wanted, Christian Writer Needed, Christian Content Needed
Find a Christian Editor, Hire a Christian Editor, Christian Editor, Find a Christian Writer
 
corner
Corner
This article has been read 249 times     < Previous | Next >


Member Comments
Member Date




TRUST JESUS TODAY









Free Audio Bible
500 Plus Languages
Faith Comes By Hearing.com