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Reflections
by Nicole Van Der Merwe 
02/18/10
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I sat by the side of the lake, looking down at my reflection, in the clear calm blue water. Here I was staring back at this surreal image of a woman I did not know anymore. The expression I saw staring back at me was broken and sad. Tears dropped from her cheeks into the lake, barely disturbing the surface of the water. I didn’t want to know this person that glared back at me. I wanted to distance myself from her pain and suffering, as far as the East was from the West. She could not be me. “I don’t want this in my life” I cried out at the reflection. Alas, it was not to be, the person staring back was undoubtedly me. As much as I tried I could not suppress the fact, that I was this sad person from my past. There was no separating us.

Running away was the order of the day. The further I ran the more the past flooded my soul. “Oh God” I cried, “I’m useless at life! I cannot forget! I cannot forgive! People have been so cruel. I just don’t want to live.” So self absorbed was Me, Myself and I. We were one, my ego and I. Wallowing in the past, when all the time a quiet still voice was trying to attract my attention. Still staring at my sullen blue reflection, for a moment I paused, then I heard His voice!

“Come!” I heard the sound of my Masters voice. “You can walk on the water if you focus on Me. I will lead you through your valley of tragedy. There is healing and forgiveness in my hands. I stood up as I heard this beautiful voice of my Jesus. My focus changed and my eyes were fixed on Him, bright shining like the sun. The warmth of the Lords gaze embraced me. “I will turn your mourning into dancing and your sorrow into joy.” You will receive beauty for ashes and the garment of praise for the garment of heaviness. He grabbed hold of my hands and with whoops of joy we spun across this blue lake of my sorrow. Gone, gone, gone were the sins of the past, lost in the sea of forgetfulness.


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