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SOS
by Bryan Rudolph
02/11/10
Not For Sale


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I am sorry.

I should never have done that.

I know.

What, oh what, am I going to do, now?

I should never have gone there.

Please, please, tell me itís not true.

But, it is.

I know, it is.

I feel sick, so sick, with grief, no relief, no help, oh, please, help me.

If it could only be undone.

That would be so good.

But, . . . itís not going to be undone, is it?

I am so sorry, so very sorry.

I canít cry enough, I feel so very all alone.

This is too heavy, too guilty.

Itís all too much, too much to bear.

I really donít know what to do.

Iím so afraid, . . . my, oh, my, . . . Iím so afraid.

What am I going to do now?

Itís just too late.

Please, please, God, help me.

I donít know what to do.

Please, God . . . be real . . . please, God, help me.

I can hardly breathe, there is no air left in me.

God . . . please make Yourself known.

I need You like never before.

After all, I'm Yours, aren't I?

Iím.

Iím, Yours.

Didn't You say so?

Even now.

Even now, You'll help me?

It means . . . Iím not alone, doesnít it?

Not now . . . not ever.

Right?

Even though . . . what has happened, has happened.

You promised to never leave me, never forsake me?

And even turn this into good.

Even this . . . my.

Oh, never leave me, will You?

Never, no not ever, leave me.

Even in all of this, I am counting on You.

God . . . My Father . . . You are with me.

I am Yours.

You are God, and I'm clearly not.

You knew me before the foundation of the world.

Every hair on my head has been counted, by You.

You have a purpose for my life.

Even now, with all that is ahead of me.

Oh, thank you . . . it does give me some relief.

Thank you God, for being much more real than I could ever feel.

Oh, yes, I must thank You . . . and I do thank You.

Really . . . thank you, thank you, yes, thank you.

I am blessed.

I mean, Iím actually blessed.

Me . . . wow!

Iím, really truly blessed, by You . . . my God.

My Father.

God, my Father.

Oh . . . thank you, Jesus, that I can cry like this.

Ok . . . I really do choose to believe that.

I am going to hang on to that.

Why is it I always have to be in trouble to turn to You?

Oh, boy . . . I need your compassion, Lord of all.

But, youíre here, now, with me, with my trouble, to help me, in my trouble.

Oh, it's so . . . wonderful!

My . . . I feel clearer on this, already.

Clearer on what to do next.

Clearer and stronger.

Even stronger than before my trouble.

Amazing!

My God . . . You are amazing!

I am still so sorry.

I wish it never were.

I have a lot ahead of me.

This is going to be so bad, that wihout You, I'm through.

But, now I know.

I know, my proper place, in all this.

Wow . . . thank you, my Lord and my Savior.

My . . . my, God.

Thank you, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit . . . for everything.

Please know I mean it.

Even . . . in . . . this.

Yes, everything.

All in all, You're my all.

I am so very grateful that You never miss.

Again, once again, Your precious rescue . . . to my SOS.





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