When I had your friendship I had peace; now it seems that Iím crying inside all the time. When I had your favor I had harvest in a time of famine with enough to share for miles around; now my soul grumbles in starvation pains. I can still remember the oil of joy spilling over and I was untouchable to pain and depression. Now instead of your loving presence I am left with the constant companion of Misery and pain.
What is the cost of my neglect of you? What is the charge for the forgetting of the best friend I will ever have? You were my ability, my skill my guided hand. The loss of physical gain would not be so great if I hadnít lost you Jesus. Sin crept back into my life in the most unnoticeable way, it came as false knowledge, and it came as independence. I know that you still love me but that your intolerance of the black that grows inside of me pushes you away.
Silence replaced your encouraging words, seeds of sinful words were my thoughts my intentions and they became my motives. I could not live this dying life; I needed to breathe your living breath. Every morning I am allowed to take another breath is proof that you still think about me; that you still are ever faithful and that your hand is still out stretched for me to hold. As I sit here and admit my failures; as I cry redemption tears I can feel your peace.
I can feel your peace leading me gently back; I can feel my resurrection.
Thank you, Christ among us for a second chanceÖ