Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Read What's New Join
Faith
Writers
Forum
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Read Our Devotional             2016 Opportunities to be Published             Detailed Navigation

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!




 
Humor PLEASE ENCOURAGE
AUTHOR BY COMMENTING


  LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE   SEND A PRIVATE MESSAGE
  HIRE THIS WRITER
REPORT ARTICLE

 TRACK THIS AUTHOR ADD TO MY FAVORITES
corner
What's New
 
corner
 
Some Assembly Required
by Allison Egley 
01/31/10
Free to Share
Author requests article critique


  Mail
 





"Oh, wow! Thanks, Santa!" My son held the box in his hands, as I inwardly cringed, knowing his next words. "Dad, will you put it together for me?"

Ahhh. There they were. Those words of torture. "Sure. After we open the rest of the presents, I'll put it together." "Or at least try to," I added, under my breath. Some families have the toys already put together on Christmas morning. Not here. You see, my words when I'm involved in these projects are not always family friendly. Hearing cursing and then discovering your dad putting a toy together would certainly put a damper on the whole Santa story. So we wait.

Soon, it was time to meet my fate. Contrary to popular belief, I do not talk to myself during these endeavors because I'm crazy. Rather, it's to help maintain what little sanity I have left. Keeping everything inside would just be too much.

Taking a deep breath, I opened the box and found the instructions.

"Step one... Find the English instructions." I found the English instructions. On page 234. I looked through the steps quickly, trying to estimate how long this would take and how complicated it would be.

"Step two. Obtain an Engineering degree from a reputable university.

"Okay. Here we go." I struggled through the instructions, muttering under my breath the entire time, complaining about the sadistic toy manufacturer who must have stock in aspirin, adhesive bandages, and psychiatric therapy.

I was nearly done, when I discovered a missing piece.

"Honey," I called out. "Have you seen the doohickey?"

"The doohickey?"

"Yeah. You know. It connects to the thingamabob. It was right here."

My wife looked at me like I had lost my mind. I had. "No, Hun. I haven't seen it."

I looked around and finally found it, then attached it. As I stood up, holding the toy up in triumph, I found an extra part I had been sitting on the entire time that looked rather important.... the battery pack.

I looked back in the instructions to find where I had gone wrong. Reading out loud, I found the right part. "Step three. Attach battery pack (C) to arm (B)." Arm (B) was now covered by arms (D) through (Z), panels (a) through (v), and screws (aa) through (zzz).

My son walked into the room. "Dad, when can I play with it?"

"Easter!"




PLEASE ENCOURAGE AUTHOR, LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
Read more articles by Allison Egley  or search for other articles by topic below.




Read more by clicking on a link:
Free Reprints
Main Site Articles
Most Read Articles
Highly Acclaimed Challenge Articles.
New Release Christian Books for Free for a Simple Review.

NEW - Surprise Me With an Article - Click here for a random URL


God is Not Against You - He Came on an All Out Rescue Mission to Save You


...in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them... 2 Cor 5:19

Therefore, my friends, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you. Acts 13:38

LEARN & TRUST JESUS HERE

The opinions expressed by authors do not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
 
corner
Corner
This article has been read 1172 times     < Previous | Next >


Member Comments
Member Date
Jesus Puppy  10 Feb 2010
You have the perfect "dad's" voice on there Allison. I could just see him all flustered. Good job.
valerie chambers 04 Feb 2010
this is so funny and so true.I especially love the last line. I am tracking your writing through this site as i enjoy your work. p.s. perfect title




TRUST JESUS TODAY











Free Audio Bible
500 Plus Languages
Faith Comes By Hearing.com