Have you ever had one of those weeks where things just did not go the way they were supposed to? Everything went wrong. The car died. The kids drove your insanity level to new heights, and at every challenge, you failed the test. Instead of responding in kindness, you snapped. Instead of trying to teach obedience, you yelled. Instead of trusting God, you worried. That was me last week. If I had been accused of being a Christian, a conviction would be unheard of. The jury would have thrown my case out. I would have been labeled a nut-case but nothing more. By the end of the week I was exhausted, defeated, and bordering on depressed. I felt like a complete failure and not worthy of the speck of sand on my Father’s shoes.
That’s why I found my devotional from Beth Moore so refreshing and timely this morning. Beth has coined a phrase that I’m going to adopt. She says that when she dies, she wants her tombstone to read, “God got tired.” Thank you so much, Beth. I’m glad to see that I am not the only person on earth who is high maintenance. If Beth Moore struggles, that means there’s hope for me. As it turns out, there’s more than hope. There are unfathomable promises for me any time I start to wonder or worry if I’m going to make it.
I shared my sentiments on the last few days with my pastor’s wife. Here’s what she had to say…
“You need to remember that there is a big difference between conviction and the enemy making you feel defeated. The Holy Spirit convicts and the enemy will sometimes try to mess around with us to make us feel defeated and hopeless. In Christ, you are an overcomer and yes there is always hope for us all thanks to His grace and mercy…We recognize our mistakes and grow from them. That is part of the sanctification process…”
As I ruminated on what she said I began to wonder. What exactly does God say about me? Who am I, really? For anyone else who might be wondering, I’ve got just a few of the answers.
I am royalty. I am chosen, holy, and special and filled with his light. (1 Peter 2:9)
I am his adopted daughter and deeply loved. (Romans 8:17)
I am more than a conqueror. (Romans 8:37)
I am a friend of Jesus. (John 15:15)
I am a new creature in Christ. (2 Corinthians 5:17)
I am redeemed and forgiven by the grace of Christ. (Ephesians 1:7)
I am blessed. (Ephesians 1:3)
I am God’s beautiful work of art, created to bless others with my talents and abilities. (Ephesians 2:10) *This one is my favorite!*
I am engraved on his heart and on his hands. (Isaiah 49:16)
I have also concluded that I am worthy the work that He puts into me. As much trouble as I seem to be to God, He never gets tired of molding and shaping me into the creature that He created me to be. The way I figure it, I must be pretty dang important, or He wouldn’t spend this much time perfecting me. As He reminded me this morning, what I do does not dictate who I am. I messed up. This does not make me a lost cause or an immediate defect that deserves to be tossed in the garbage. It makes me human and prone to imperfections, mistakes, and weaknesses.
There will be challenging days or weeks where we fail or miss the mark. I think we’re being called to remember that it’s not over until He says it is. Every day is a new opportunity to grow and learn from the previous day’s mistakes. Every day is a new chance to remember who we are for real in Christ. We are worthy of His time and all the endless hours of work He puts into us. In that sense, I don’t mind being high maintenance. After all, I am a work in progress!
I really needed this and I couldn't have put it better. You are just real and that's what I love. I have felt the exact same way the past two weeks. Whew. The breakthrough is coming and He's not finished with us yet! Glroy