I suppose this article could be placed in the "politics" or "world affairs" sections, but I find it most fitting in the "marriage" area because I'll try not to get into what constitutes marriage in the eye's of political law, or anything that tries to determain whether or not certain peoples can be married in our nations systems.
Though, its the debate in churches and states over the sanctity of marriage, and its loud roar from all the professed believers, that sparks my own voice on the matter of how pure the love is that flows between all the currently married couples (straight or gay) in the world.
If I had arrived on earth yesterday, and listened to christian people talk about how marriage between a man and woman is the only type of marriage that should be sanctified in the eyes of God, I would think, just from their loud convictions, and powerful emotions, that they were the very example of what it must mean to be married in front of God, and feel the awesome power of being in its purity.
But I didn't arrive here yesterday, and I know how the world works. What is required by God, in terms of the love in marriage, is no where to be found. Let me tell you why I feel this way.
Before I knew what Jesus' said, I felt, with my own logic, that if love between two people was to be perfect, and pure, it would have to be one of complete devotion, with spirit and body, emotional and physical. To even look at another woman (in my case) and think anything other then how she is your sister, would be a crime against God, my wife, and myself. There are many reasons why this is a good thing. For one, two lovers look through each others eyes, if not on this plane of existence, then on another. How could someone allow such thoughts pass by their lovers eyes? Another reason is that all thoughts and images in the mind are just as real as something physical. Think about it, all things physical must pass through the mind to be felt, so what makes just thinking about it any different? I always hear, "But its only looking, not touching, so its ok.".
Jesus knew better. (Matthew)27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to desire her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away! It is better to lose one of your members than to have your whole body thrown into hell. 30 If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away! It is better to lose one of your members than to have your whole body go into hell."
Yet, I don't see this happening....anywhere. I beg any reader of this article to find me one couple that is so devoted? Find me two lovers who still have hormones, and only center them on that one true person, while treating everyone else as brother and sister? How beautiful a sight it sets in my eyes. But when I look around, I don't find them anywhere.
To go back for a moment, I also hear other excuses, like, "It's natural. To look around is part of our animal past." Or, "I only look good to feel good about myself, and not to try and make others find me attractive."
To the first statement, I think, huh, last time I checked, I don't need to spread my seed to ensure our species anymore, so why should I retain the habit of trying? To the second statement, give me a break. Vanity and Lust are linked in such ways.
Some people even think that by looking around, they keep their sexual juices flowing, because just looking at, and having sex with the same woman is like "eating the same food everyday for the rest of your life" (oh, how I've heard that a great deal), and by doing this, continue the sexual intrigue for their loved one as the years go by. Some may even go so far as to reflect upon their moments of lust in the day, to achieve excellence in bed with their loved one that very night.
What is not understood is that, by not being totally devoted, inside and out, to your loved one, your body then begins to rely on outer sources for a sexual spark, and over the years, does not look at your lover for the spark but always outside of them. Some of those thoughts will even pass by the mind, consciously or subconsciously, while your having sex with your mate. And what happens if that thought was passing through the mind during conception of a child?
I hope the next time I turn on the T.V., or read a news article, or hear a believer, or a priest talk about marriage, and how important it is, and how it should be a certain way, and for certain people, I also hope I hear someone ask why they don't see two truly married people out in the world, worthy of being called pure. Do people think its just not possible? That perfection, in ones life, or marriage, in accordance with the Good Word, is simply impossible? Am I being foolish? Because I'm not perfect, though I'd like to be. I don't even know if I can perform the type of devotion I'm talking about, if I am to get married. But I do know that if I could, my future wife and I might be the only two lovers on earth.
(No offense to any married readers, its just what I see. If I am wrong, please tell me, I'd love to believe otherwise. Just don't lie to me, because I'll be asking where I can meet them.)
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