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TOP TEN WORST OPENINGS FOR A NOVEL
by David Ian
01/05/10
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TOP TEN WORST OPENINGS FOR A NOVEL

#10. There once lived a man who began all of his stories with, “There once lived a man…”

#9.This isn’t the best beginning for a story, but here goes…”

#8. Okay. So. There was this girl, you know? And then there was this guy, okay? But, like, they didn’t know each other, well, at least, not when we start the story…

#7. Stop me if you’ve heard this story…

#6. The main character of this book is going to die, so fair warning…

#5. This story is really only a dream, but I’m saving that for the surprise ending…

#4. This story begins with a young boy—well, actually it begins with his father, but you can’t understand him unless I tell you about his family, who first got the farm from Old Cedric Jacobs, who is a pretty interesting person as well, but not half as interesting as Cedric’s nephew and what he did during the war…

#3. This is the story of Jacob Herman Stillman. Have you heard of him? If no, then maybe you shouldn’t bother…

#2. Hoo Boy! Have I got a whopper of a story to tell YOU…

#1. This is the story of the amazing success of Hildeman Products ® T.M. and the amazing cleaning system they developed, and during the course of this story, you will have the opportunity to take advantage of some amazing offers on some of their products, but only if you buy this book…



If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW

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Member Comments
Member Date
Jacob Gibson 28 Apr 2010
Literal LOL! I was going to use some of those and I'm so glad you warned you.
Jeanne E Webster  07 Jan 2010
Loved this. I'm not good at telling stories, but if you really want to hear this one, here's goes...! Blessings, young man.




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