Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh Genesis 2:24;
Biblical principles will ever remain the only cure for problems in marriage. This is because marriage is entirely Godís idea and not manís. It follows therefore that, for us to have the best and be happy, we must pay attention to Godís principles as contained in His word. Culture, traditions and civilization have certainly brought in a lot of strange things into marriage which are becoming serious threats to the success of the home. But as believers who desire the very best in our relationship, we must take cognizance of Godís divine instructions so that we can be happy and be what God wants us to be.
For any marriage to be successful, three important things as stated in the above scripture must take place. Building a happy home involves, LEAVING, CLEAVING and BECOMING ONE FLESH.
LEAVING: It is required that real leaving must take place if your marriage will be what God wants it to be. Leaving is the price of happiness. Leaving means that there must be a clean and clear cut separation from oneís family. This seems to be where many marriages are having problems. By leaving, we are not saying that married couples should abandon their parents or neglect their family, but there must be a clear cut separation such that undue interference and influence from parents and family members do not impact negatively on their home. It is unfortunate that some men are finding it difficult to maintain tight bond with their wives because they are unduly attached to their mothers. Equally, some wives find it difficult to enjoy the bliss of union with their husbands because of their affinity to their families. It may be hard to accept but it is the price we must pay to be happy in our marriage.
To be frank, it is not proper that after marriage, a man still stays with his wife in his family house alongside his parents and siblings. There canít be marriage without leaving. However, the clear cut separation required is not only physical; it also involves mental separation so that the home can be shielded from family and in-law interferences which seem to be a major cause of problems in marriage.
CLEAVING: Cleaving is possible when real leaving has taken place. Cleaving is not an event but rather a continuous process that requires efforts on the part of both partners. Leaving is about building a very intimate relationship with your spouse. It is everyday affair; it is a life time project. Two different individuals agreeing to spend the rest of their lives together as husband and wife must be prepared to fuss into each other. The more intimate they get, the stronger the bond. Intimacy is the life wire of a happy marriage.
A lot of marriages are not experiencing the thrill of intimacy because the couples have allowed many things like career, family, friends, business and the likes to create wide gap in between them. So many husbands and wives seem to have married their carrier, business pursuits and ambitions at the expense of their marriage. To experience the joy and fulfillment marriage is expected to bring, husband and wife are supposed to be the closest to each other. Cleaving is to stick to and be glued to each other.
BECOMING ONE FLESH: Becoming one flesh means more than just the physical union. It means that two persons share everything they have, not only their bodies, not only material possessions, but also their thinking and their feeling, their joy and their suffering, their hopes and their fears, their success and their failures. To become one flesh means that two persons become completely one with body, soul and spirit, and yet they remain two different persons. This is the ultimate in the marriage union. It involves a complete melting into one the thoughts, aspirations, visions, pursuit and goals of the couples. Then the scripture: ĎThey are no longer two but oneí will be truly fulfilled. This must be the aspiration of every couple. At this stage, two hearts beat as one and the couple could go through thick and thin together until they fulfill their destiny and Godís given purpose here on earth.