She was the savior, the one who aids in time of difficulty, because no one else would
embrace the problems. The problems weren’t her responsibility, but she succeeded
in eliminating them. She is strong in handling manly responsibilities, all the while
feeling inferior as a woman. She looks at herself as someone who can do the work
better than her husband.
In all of these tasks, she realizes she is completely alone. No one wants to help her
accomplish these tasks. She feels frustration and helplessness. She weeps. Her
shoulders just aren’t big enough to handle all of the pressures. She tries to tell her
husband her fears, but they go unheard and unnoticed. She begins to search for
meaning to her life without realizing she is searching.
Then someone other than her husband begins to treat her like a lady. He makes
advances toward her that betray her wounded heart. She knows it is wrong to feel
this way, but her mind and body tell her this is exactly how she has always wanted to be treated. This starts a new chain of emotions and events in her mind.
Her thoughts are selfish and self-absorbed. The great emptiness within
her screams to be filled.
She faintly thinks about her family and how they would feel toward her
regarding these thoughts. A great desire pulses through her as she puts
her thoughts into motion: “What about my needs, my longings, my wishes.”
These phrases tear at her innermost being.
It is exhilarating to have that wholehearted attention and feel alive again.
She feels “special” to someone again. The loneliness begins to fade away.
As a woman, she feels she can scale new heights. She has not been this
excited for a very long time.
She no longer wants the marriage chains to bind her. She has found
someone who “ignites” her very being.
She, however, is not totally lost in this new-found ecstasy. She feels guilt. She knows she should be true to her husband in all aspects, but the pull to emerge as
a special woman to someone else calls to her. She resents anyone or anything that
keeps her from feeling special. Her whole being is consumed by the one who makes
her feel complete and whole. It fills her every thought and emotion.
I have liken her plight with those dirty, filthy rags of sin that our Lord talks about in His Holy Word. She fastidiously and desperately throws her clothes into the washer to rid herself of the dirt, grime and shame she feels. But it isn’t long and she
sees and feels that warm smile, those endearing eyes, those unspoken words, that
touch, and the clothes are clean no more. She takes those clothes and throws
them away because they remind her of her sin.
Then the assault of the new adventure begins in her mind. She feels “brand new”
in all aspects of her womanhood. “You are a woman, a lady, someone to be cherished, instead of always loving. You are being cared for, instead of always caring
for others. You are the greatest, instead of making others always feel great. You are
being loved, instead of always making others feel loved. You have security now. You are lacking nothing. Instead of doing for everyone else, you are now treated like royalty.”
Your mind tells you all of these things. It is the biggest lie you have ever believed,
but you don’t care. You have cast it all to the wind. All that matters is you and
She is tired. She has talked and talked, pleaded, cried and wept. All goes unheeded.
No one listens and it seems no one cares. So she asks herself a question, “How can I
stop the relationship when someone has made me feel so special?” How can I?
All the teaching and all the scriptural principles go by the wayside. She honestly
doesn’t want to hurt anyone, but the deep abyss of loneliness cries out. She doesn’t
want to be alone anymore. She wants an intimate relationship. Her only requirement is that someone will love and care for her as a woman, a lady, a counterpart, and a friend.
This special someone offers her - emotional stability, love and acceptance. She
celebrates in his loving treatment of her womanhood. She knows there are no commitments and no expectations in this twisted lie and she feels ashamed and guilty, but that special sensation he gives her conquers her heart.
Again, as though convictions were pressing upon her, she asks herself, “Why should
I give up all the attention to go back into a relationship with my husband where there
is no excitement?” Don’t you see my agony and turmoil? Where are the answers?
She ponders the inevitable. “If I saw the answers, would I want to return to my husband?”
She feels betrayed, but now she has become the betrayer. Her shame overshadows
her. Those thoughts and feelings should only be for her husband, but her husband
is never there for her she rationalizes. And so, the war begins to rage between flesh and spirit.
She tries one more time to talk to her husband. She tries to tell him of her needs and her pain, but he thinks it is silly and she is just too emotional about the problems. She feels abandoned and determines in her heart that this will never happen again.
Now, she begins her quest to find fulfillment in all the wrong places. In so doing, she lays aside her beliefs, convictions and principles and seeks someone who will
quench the fire within her. She thinks only of herself and has an insatiable
hunger to have her needs met. This is the seduction of the emotions.
Rebuttal to The Seduction of the Emotions
There are a great many of times as women when we have felt overwhelmed with the various responsibilities we have had to perform within the family circle. Many of which, we often felt incapable to handle. Because of the pressures of life, family, children, occupation, and traumas that this life often brings; we as wives have felt alone in managing and coping with these things. Often when a “ball” is dropped, we automatically pick it up because we are conditioned by reality that another job has to be completed. Through this great process of meeting needs, we often forget about ourselves and the refueling that is so necessary to care for one’s self. This dimension is seen in our physical, emotional and spiritual lives. If we do not find time for ourselves to begin the re-charging process, we will begin to believe lies that will bring a downfall to us as wives, mothers, saints, and friends. It behooves us as Christians to read God’s Word and His promises to ensure that our mind is stayed on the Lord Jesus Christ.
When we put ourselves in the number one position, we have just begun to believe one of many lies. The lie is as old as Eve in the garden with the serpent. He spoke to
her through the lust of her flesh. What she saw was good and she not only wanted it, but she persuaded herself she couldn’t live without it! She had to taste it and she
wanted her husband to share in the sin of eating it. Adam knowing full well what God had said allowed Eve to have her way. Our husbands should be strong and not let us have our way. Adam didn’t, and I think that is one of the great weaknesses men have today where women are concerned. A woman was created to
be her husband’s helper. A woman is a helper and extremely loyal and she will put
her heart and soul into anything her husband puts before her. This can expend her
strength and her heart when she has to tend to so many other responsibilities. Those manly responsibilities aren’t really hers, but she feels the definite need to take
on this task as well.
Husbands need to treat their wives as queens. If they know they are preferred above anything, they will never stray. If a husband will love his wife as Christ sacrificially loves the church, his wife will always be his partner. As wives, we need
the protection and security of our husbands to fight our inward battles. If a wife
does not feel cherished and secure, she will often find someone who will love her. A husband’s responsibility is great before the Lord, as is ours as wives.
The next phase of this rebuttal is to share with you what we possess in Jesus Christ,
and how our minds and emotions work against us in the throes of sin and in the lies that we believe. There is a war going on between flesh and the Spirit of God. My relative was in agony in her sin, yet she gave into the flesh instead of listening to the
sweet Spirit of God and His promises. The outcome is always death in some form --
death to the treasures of God, His principles, His truth, losses of peace and rest, and shame from family. Her choices led to an affair. She opted to put herself on the
throne instead of Jesus Christ. The following Scriptures prove my point.
Romans 6:11-14 states that we are dead to sin, but alive to God -- therefore, He
lives within us. “Therefore, do not let sin reign [have supremacy, predominate] in
Your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. Do not offer the parts of your body
[eyes, touch, physical being] to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer
yourselves to God as those who have been brought from the death to life, and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness. For sin shall not be your
master, because you are not under law, but under grace.”
It goes on to say in verses 16-23 that when we offer ourselves to someone we are slaves to the one we obey whether in sin or in Christ. We need to praise God that we
used to be slaves to sin, but now we have been set free from sin and its impurities. Now the choice becomes ours and we are to offer ourselves in slavery to righteousness.
Romans 7 tells us what we were before we came to Christ, but when we died in Christ we were released from the bondage of law and sin, and free to experience a victorious life in Him. We as Christians need to be fully aware that the struggle is
agonizing [vv. 17-24]. There is a raging war contending for supremacy within our mind and our bodily members. When we fully realize that, we will concur with Paul in saying, “What a wretched man I am!”
Romans 8 tells us of our emancipated life. It also tells us in vv. 5-8 that what we set
our minds on dictates our behavior The contrast is compelling: sinful mind is hostile to God; but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace. So right now,
is your desire to sin greater than your desire to live and exercise freedom in Christ?
Where will your choice lead you? There are times when we want only our way and so we run headlong into sin. We don’t want to know God’s truth and we don’t want to be reminded either, and that’s when we give ourselves over to slavery and bondage in sin.
Dear ones, we have been bought with a price--Christ’s blood. Christ died for us, and not only that, He made us His children and heirs of God and co-heirs with
Who dominates your life? Sin or the Spirit? In Ephesians 4:19-32, we find that
“Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more.” We are free in
Jesus Christ! It takes an act of our will to put off your old former life of sin which
is being corrupted by its deceitful desires, to be made new the attitudes of your minds; and to put on the new life in Christ, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. [Ephesians 4:20-24]. We are told to put to death [an
act of our will] therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature, i.e., old life, sinful life: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed which is idolatry.
You used to walk in these ways [in your old life], where God was absent from you, but now put on the new life [Christ in you] which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. [Colossians 3:5-11]
Our minds are powerful as stated in 2 Samuel 11:1-13. Sin springs to action when
David saw, when he inquired about Bathsheba, and he gave into temptation. David
was carried away by his lust to have. Even then, as we do now, we have a choice as seen in Genesis 4:6-7. Cain had a choice at which God replied to him, “If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? [Here God will give Cain restored fellowship
with God if he makes the right choice]. But if you do not do what is right, Sin is
crouching at your door [the effects of sin] are ready to pounce on him; it desires to have you, BUT you must MASTER IT.” David and Cain both gave in to their desires and sin seized them both to commit murders. David committed adultery as well.
Don’t ever think you are not in a battle -- you are! Just as the record shows in
2 Chronicles 20:12-18 where King Jehoshaphat was about to go into battle and all of
the people stood before the Lord and Jahaziel spoke God’s word - “Do not be afraid
or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s… Go
out and face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you Jehoshaphat bowed with his face to the ground, and all the people of Judah and Jerusalem fell down in worship
before the Lord.”
They saw the vast army, they were afraid, but they turned to God. They recognized
His deliverance and hoped in Him. In The Seduction of the Emotions, we do not have to be seduced by sin or view visible defeats-- we have the deliverance of the
Lord. We must lay our thoughts, attitudes and desires down at His feet no matter how ugly they are. He will deliver us!
The rebuttal is about who we are in Christ and our choices we must make. God hears and answers our prayers. If we choose to ignore His provisions and promises, we will know captivity of mind and body. If God can deliver the Old Testament people from their enemies, can He not deliver us from ours? Our enemies include lustful desires within and those presupposed by the enemy himself who desires to set up a throne in our hearts and minds instead of the Lord Jesus Christ. Our focus needs to be on Christ solely, as in Colossians 3:1-3. Again, as an act of our will we have to set our heart [affections], aim at and seek the [rich eternal treasures] that are above, where Christ is seated, and set your minds and keep them set on what is above [the higher things] not on the things that are on the earth. For [as far as this world is concerned] you have died, and your [new, real] life is hidden with Christ in God… So kill [deaden, deprive of power] the evil desire lurking in your members [those animal impulses and sensual appetites, unholy desires, and all greed and covetousness, for that is idolatry [the deifying of self and other things instead of God]. Amplified Bible.
We need to actively clothe ourselves with the truth that we are His own chosen ones and we need to abandon ourselves to God and “let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as an umpire continually) in your hearts [deciding and
settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, [in that peaceful state] to which as [members of Christ’s] one body you were called [to live]. And be thankful
(appreciative), [giving praise to God always]. Let the word [spoken by] Christ (the
Messiah) have its home [in your hearts and minds] and dwell in you in [all its]
richness, as you teach and admonish and train one another in all insight and
intelligence and wisdom in spiritual things. We are representatives of Jesus Christ
and whatever we do or say is a reflection upon Him and His truth.
We as wives are to be subject to our husbands and we are to adapt ourselves to them
as is right and fitting and our proper duty to the Lord. Husbands are to love us as Christ loved the church and he is to be a sacrificial servant.
As in The Seduction of the Emotions, we each are responsible before the Lord for our actions, thoughts and behavior. If we maintain our course and set our eyes and
affections on Christ there would be no need for this writing or rebuttal. We are no longer under sin’s dominion or oppression. Every battle or seduction we encounter
has been defeated on the Cross, if we choose Christ and His principles.
2 Corinthians 10:4,5 states,
“For the weapons of our warfare are not physical [weapons of flesh and blood], but they are mighty before God for the overthrow and destruction of strongholds. [Inasmuch as we] refute arguments and theories and reasonings and every proud and
lofty thing that sets itself up against the [true] knowledge of God’ and we lead every
thought and purpose away captive INTO the obedience of Christ (the Messiah, the
We, alone, have a choice and a responsibility whom we will serve. Who or what
will you choose? In Christ and His power, we are no longer slaves to sin or seductions. May Jesus Christ be praised!
Read more articles by Carol Adams or search for articles on the same topic or others.
This is a very interesting topic and the least dicussed. I'm glad that you brought this article to the forefront. Many are hiding behind the lies, but this exposure has helped them to decide. Keep up the excellent work!