Imagine being on one of those television reality shows where you are surrounded by twenty-five gorgeous people. Imagine that every week you had to eliminate people from the running. How would you decide who to keep and who to send home?
Every time you date, you are going through that selection process. Is this guy right for me? Oooh, did you see the flowers he sent me? Ugh, did you hear how he burped at the table? What is she going to do with her life? Will her parents like me?
Did you know that the Bachelor game was played in the Bible?
Just ask Esther. When Xerxes was looking for a new wife after Vashti disobeyed him, he held a beauty pageant. The women were put through vigorous beauty treatments for twelve months. Twelve months! You couldnít run down to the beauty spa and salon to make yourself beauty. It took twelve, long months. Each contestant was brought before the king, but he favored Esther. Why because of her beauty? All the women were beautiful. No, she had something the others didnít. A sweet spirit.
You are special to God. You are the Kingís Kid and that makes you special. As royalty, you canít just pick a dating partner because he is good-looking. He has to be worthy to take you out.
How do you determine whom you will date and whom you won't date? What does God have to say about whom you should date? Let's search the Bible for answers.
In the first round of elimination, you should eliminate anyone who is not a Born-Again Christian. Paul warned us in 2 Corinthians 6:14, "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?"
Choose people who share your beliefs because a relationship without God as the center is doomed to fail from the start. If you end up marrying the person later on in life and that person doesnít accept Jesus, you will be headed to two different destinations when you die.
In the second round of elimination, you need to rid yourself of any unnecessary trouble, such as suspected drug dealers, drinkers, known liars, anything that breaks the Ten Commandments. 1 Thessalonians 5:22 told us to "Abstain from all appearance of evil."
Most people, especially females, enter relationships thinking they can change their partner. This is a big mistake! You cannot change another person. You cannot make him stop drinking or her stop smoking. You cannot force him to stop lying to you or her to stop dealing drugs. Doing so is a waste of time. You can only change you.
The next round of elimination deals with their relationship with God. How committed are they to their Heavenly Father? What is their life centered around? Is it sports? Work? God? If the center is not God, this should be a red flag. A person who is not God-centered has his priorities out of alignment. I am not just talking about going to church. Many people attend church regularly, but do not have a personal relationship with God. Listen to the way the person's talks. The key to
his relationship with God lies in his tongue. Does he talk about what God is doing in his life? What God has done? What God told him? What he learned from the Word? These are signs that his relationship with God is in order.
Also observe his behavior. How does he treat you? With respect or does he try to control you?
How does he treat people in general? Is he rude? Does he insist on his own way? If he is committed to God, he will be changing little by little. And this will be noticeable in his behavior. Even if he does behave badly, he should be sorry. If he isn't, you have to question his commitment to God.
Then you should eliminate angry people from your dating selection.
Proverbs 22:24 puts it this way: "Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go:"
People who are angry with the world, who have a chip on their shoulders and think the world owes them something need to work on themselves before getting involved with someone else. These issues will only serve you problems down the road.
Find out what the person's dreams and goals are for his life. Does he share goals and dreams that our compatible with yours? Does he want to live in Africa feeding starving children, and you want to be a high-priced lawyer in the United States? Or do you both want to go into the mission field?
Why should you find out this information before you date a person? Why should you eliminate these people as dating hopefuls? Aren't you dating just to have fun? No, the purpose of dating is to interview candidates to be your future mate, just like on the Bachelor or Bachelorette. And that is a process that must be taken seriously. If you date without marriage in mind, it is like playing with fire. You are going to go through unnecessary pain and anxiety.