“Why are you so downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God.” Psalm 42:11
Palpitations…cold sweats…feeling like something awful is going to happen… I’m freaking out! I jump out of bed afraid I’m having a heart attack right here, away from the phone. I’m trying to reason out that maybe it’s too much coffee, except that this happens 99% of the time, this time of the year.
Some people call this “winter blues.” I call this the dark shadow of winter , that demon that haunts me, crippling me from doing what I love to do, paralyzing me from even doing the mundane task. I feel like I’m in a bondage of fear, loneliness, and emotional instability and I can’t get out. Yet, with every dark shadow, there is always that glimpse of light.
What’s amazing about my so called “thorn of the flesh” is that I have a better view of my weaknesses and my spiritual malfunction that draw me closer to my Source of Strength. Jesus cares for me enough that I can cast all my anxiety upon Him. Instead of looking inside for strength, I know He is there as my Rock, my Refuge, my Shepherd leading me where the green pasture is, and guiding me to the Streams of Living Water.
With my heart beating fast, and my sweat pouring down my forehead, I hear His gentle whisper, “Be still and know that I am God.”
And in spite of this winter in my life, I rest in the assurance of God’s love. I maybe shaking, but my faith is standing still.
Your transparency is what will reach others for Him! It shows that God can reach us where we hurt. He is a loving, practical Almighty God who reaches down and touches our deepest needs. Thank you so much for sharing.
Thank you for all the encouraging comments and your love. Not too many people understand,in fact, they rather keep quiet and say nothing. Being transparent and sharing what God has done even on my darkest moments and knowing someone out there is blessed by my testimony is a blessing in itself. God bless! Gloria
Gloria, The wonderful thing is that, despite your fearful emotions, you know where to turn and you follow through on that direction - by looking to the Lord for strength. His power shines when we go to Him as helpless children - leaning completely upon Him. It's then when we acknowledge that He is our Strength and we can do nothing without Him in our lives. And, that, Gloria is key to living as His Child. Yes, He is holding you secure and firm - not because of your ability, but because you have allowed Him to hold you up. AMEN! Love, Peggy
Oh Gloria, I have had feelings like that sometimes as well. Nothing that I can put my finger on, but enough to know that God at all times is my strength and my song. How sweet of you to share this with us. I love you sis, Sharon