One of the most important, if not the most important thing we can do is learn to accept ourselves. We must learn to love who we are as individuals. Does that mean we just stop trying to better ourselves and stay the same even though we may not like it? NO.
If there are things we don’t like about ourselves we need to take steps. First, is it something we have the power to change? For example, if we are not the weight we want to be, it is in our power to change that, if we don’t like some of our personality traits, we have the power to change that too. But right at this very second in time, we have to look at ourselves and accept what and who we are, but agree with ourselves that there are things we can change if we want to. We can say, “this is who I am right now and I accept myself and give myself permission to work on what I’d like to change”.
If there are things we can not change; like what family we were born in to, we have to accept that as it is and try to see the benefits from it. My family could be in the dictionary under “dysfunctional”, but I accept that. They are who they are, that does not mean I have to be just like them because I was born in to that. I can accept them for who they are and honor our differences.
Second, we have to stop comparing ourselves to others. Do you catch yourself saying things like; “gee, look at how skinny she is, I wish I were that skinny”, “look at all the nice stuff the neighbors have, I wish I were as rich as them”, etc. STOP IT. If someone has more than you, be happy for them, accept the fact that your financial status may not be the best right now, but that doesn’t mean it has to stay that way.
Third, stop using someone else’s standards to measure your success or status. This goes along with number two above. You are not them, you are a unique individual and you can not live your life by someone else’s standards or expectations.
Fourth and very important-stop judging others. When you learn to accept yourself, it’s pretty easy to learn to accept others for the way they are. Is so and so “fat”? So what!! Does that affect you somehow? Is this person gay? Who cares! What business is it of yours? Is so and so cheating on their taxes? That’s not your concern! Does your neighbor go to a different church or have a different spiritual belief? Let it go! If someone else’s behavior does not have a direct effect or bearing on you than don’t worry about it–let them be themselves.
You concentrate on you. This will bring so much more peace in to your life and relieve so much pressure you will be amazed.