Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Read What's New Join
Faith
Writers
Forum
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Read Our Devotional             2016 Opportunities to be Published             Detailed Navigation

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!




 
Gospel PLEASE ENCOURAGE
AUTHOR BY COMMENTING


  LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE   SEND A PRIVATE MESSAGE
  HIRE THIS WRITER
REPORT ARTICLE

 TRACK THIS AUTHOR ADD TO MY FAVORITES
corner
What's New
 
corner
 
Am I saved or confused?
by Julie Michaelson
10/14/09
For Sale
Author requests article critique


  Mail
 





If you confess
with your
mouth
the Lord Jesus
and believe
in your heart
that God
has raised Him
from the dead,
you will be
saved.
[Romans 10:9]
*********************
"I just came back,
from my ROMANS
class...
LORD."

[NODDING.]
[SOLEMN NOD.]
"Good,
My child."

(Bite into a raspberry
popsicle.)
"I think that PAUL
liked to write,
as much as I DO...
except,
he didn't have a
sense 'a HUMOR."

[LAUGH!]
[JOYFUL SMILE!]

"Yeah."
(Grimmace!)
"Yeah, he sure
liked to go ON...
and ON...
DIDN'T HE?"

[PATIENT NOD.]
[DELIGHTED SMILE!]
"Read It
to Me,
child."

(Whiny, nasal voice*.)
"The WHOLE THING?
Lord......
PLEASE!
Haven't You
tortured me,
ENOUGH,
for one LIFE?"

[LAUGHING.]
"Read It
to Me."

"Don't they
LET YOU,
have any BIBLES,
up THERE?"

[LAUGHING!]
"Read
to Me,
My beloved."

(Grimmace!)
"But....I've
already TOLD
Ya, LORD!
The only PART
I LIKE,
OUTTA Y'ur
WHOLE BOOK,
is JONAH!"

[BURST OUT LAUGHING!]

"And,
THAT'S just
because,
there's a
WHALE,
in IT!"

[NOD.]

"AND,
some...
JEWISH HUMOR!"

[CHUCKLING.]
[SMILE!]

(Bite more melting
raspberry popsicle**.)
"They kept ARGUING,
tonight,
LORD!"

[PATIENT NOD.]

"Yeah;
I guess,
Ya heard that."
(Get up to open
refrigerator.)
(Get out 2nd
raspberry popsicle.)
"Yeah.....they were
ARGUING,
when I LEFT!"

[SMILE!]
[NODDING.]

(Sad shake of the head.)
"I think these
Christians are
really confused,
Lord."

[SMILE!]
[CHUCKLING!]

(Whiny screech.)
"NOW,
they're TELLING
me.....JESUS is LORD!"

[PATIENTLY LISTENING.]
[WATCH A DEER PATTER
ACROSS A LONELY ROAD,
IN THE TEXAS HILL COUNTRY.]

"But....
that...
He's NOT GOD!"
(Squint upwards.)
(Popsicle dripping.)

[PATIENT SILENCE.]

(Loud, whiny voice.)
"Then.....
WHO'S GOD?"

[WATCH ANOTHER DEER
JOIN THE FIRST ONE;
BOTH NOSE A SMALL,
SCRUBBY TREE.]
[RUMBLE.]
[FIRM VOICE.]
"Me,
child."

(Squint up at ceiling.)
(Bite into 2nd dripping
popsicle, over ceramic bowl.)
"Do YOU have
some kind 'a
PERSONALITY DISORDER?"

[CHUCKLING LOUDLY.]
"No.
No,
My beloved."

(Shake head, bewilderedly.)
"Are they MISHUGUNAH***?"

"Who,
child?"

"These FOLLOWERS,
of YOURS!"
(Gaze upwards, squinting.)
"Are they MISHUGUNAH?"

[PATIENT PAUSE.]
"You need to read
My Word,
child."

(Slurp on popsicle stick.)
"SURE!
JONAH!"

[PATIENT SIGH.]
"Oy Vey."

(Shout to the ceiling.)
"YA WANT ME
TO READ IT,
TO YA,
LORD?"

[CHUCKLING.]

"MY FAVORITE
PART IS ABOUT
THE WHALE!"

[CHUCKLING.]
[SIGH.]
**********************
So
the Lord
spoke to
the fish
and it
vomited
Jonah
onto
dry
land.
[Jonah 2:10]

____________________
*Author is from northwest
Philadelphia.
**Non-diet kind.
***Yiddish: 'Crazy';
'Mixed-up'; 'Looney-tunes'.

_______________
To all the
great ladies,
in Denise's
Precepts class.



PLEASE ENCOURAGE AUTHOR, LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
Read more articles by Julie Michaelson or search for other articles by topic below.




Read more by clicking on a link:
Free Reprints
Main Site Articles
Most Read Articles
Highly Acclaimed Challenge Articles.
New Release Christian Books for Free for a Simple Review.

NEW - Surprise Me With an Article - Click here for a random URL


God is Not Against You - He Came on an All Out Rescue Mission to Save You


...in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them... 2 Cor 5:19

Therefore, my friends, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you. Acts 13:38

LEARN & TRUST JESUS HERE

The opinions expressed by authors do not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
 
corner
Corner
This article has been read 397 times     < Previous | Next >


Member Comments
Member Date




TRUST JESUS TODAY











Free Audio Bible
500 Plus Languages
Faith Comes By Hearing.com