If you confess
with your
mouth
the Lord Jesus
and believe
in your heart
that God
has raised Him
from the dead,
you will be
saved.
[Romans 10:9]
*********************
"I just came back,
from my ROMANS
class...
LORD."
[NODDING.]
[SOLEMN NOD.]
"Good,
My child."
(Bite into a raspberry
popsicle.)
"I think that PAUL
liked to write,
as much as I DO...
except,
he didn't have a
sense 'a HUMOR."
[LAUGH!]
[JOYFUL SMILE!]
"Yeah."
(Grimmace!)
"Yeah, he sure
liked to go ON...
and ON...
DIDN'T HE?"
[PATIENT NOD.]
[DELIGHTED SMILE!]
"Read It
to Me,
child."
(Whiny, nasal voice*.)
"The WHOLE THING?
Lord......
PLEASE!
Haven't You
tortured me,
ENOUGH,
for one LIFE?"
[LAUGHING.]
"Read It
to Me."
"Don't they
LET YOU,
have any BIBLES,
up THERE?"
[LAUGHING!]
"Read
to Me,
My beloved."
(Grimmace!)
"But....I've
already TOLD
Ya, LORD!
The only PART
I LIKE,
OUTTA Y'ur
WHOLE BOOK,
is JONAH!"
[BURST OUT LAUGHING!]
"And,
THAT'S just
because,
there's a
WHALE,
in IT!"
[NOD.]
"AND,
some...
JEWISH HUMOR!"
[CHUCKLING.]
[SMILE!]
(Bite more melting
raspberry popsicle**.)
"They kept ARGUING,
tonight,
LORD!"
[PATIENT NOD.]
"Yeah;
I guess,
Ya heard that."
(Get up to open
refrigerator.)
(Get out 2nd
raspberry popsicle.)
"Yeah.....they were
ARGUING,
when I LEFT!"
[SMILE!]
[NODDING.]
(Sad shake of the head.)
"I think these
Christians are
really confused,
Lord."
[SMILE!]
[CHUCKLING!]
(Whiny screech.)
"NOW,
they're TELLING
me.....JESUS is LORD!"
[PATIENTLY LISTENING.]
[WATCH A DEER PATTER
ACROSS A LONELY ROAD,
IN THE TEXAS HILL COUNTRY.]
"But....
that...
He's NOT GOD!"
(Squint upwards.)
(Popsicle dripping.)
[PATIENT SILENCE.]
(Loud, whiny voice.)
"Then.....
WHO'S GOD?"
[WATCH ANOTHER DEER
JOIN THE FIRST ONE;
BOTH NOSE A SMALL,
SCRUBBY TREE.]
[RUMBLE.]
[FIRM VOICE.]
"Me,
child."
(Squint up at ceiling.)
(Bite into 2nd dripping
popsicle, over ceramic bowl.)
"Do YOU have
some kind 'a
PERSONALITY DISORDER?"
[CHUCKLING LOUDLY.]
"No.
No,
My beloved."
(Shake head, bewilderedly.)
"Are they MISHUGUNAH***?"
"Who,
child?"
"These FOLLOWERS,
of YOURS!"
(Gaze upwards, squinting.)
"Are they MISHUGUNAH?"
[PATIENT PAUSE.]
"You need to read
My Word,
child."
(Slurp on popsicle stick.)
"SURE!
JONAH!"
[PATIENT SIGH.]
"Oy Vey."
(Shout to the ceiling.)
"YA WANT ME
TO READ IT,
TO YA,
LORD?"
[CHUCKLING.]
"MY FAVORITE
PART IS ABOUT
THE WHALE!"
[CHUCKLING.]
[SIGH.]
**********************
So
the Lord
spoke to
the fish
and it
vomited
Jonah
onto
dry
land.
[Jonah 2:10]
____________________
*Author is from northwest
Philadelphia.
**Non-diet kind.
***Yiddish: 'Crazy';
'Mixed-up'; 'Looney-tunes'.
_______________
To all the
great ladies,
in Denise's
Precepts class.
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