Today I go and leave you when you least know what is happening. Not that you cannot sense, what is going on. Like the rest of us you will always have that gift of knowing things that are about to happen even when you cannot fully explain or understand it. Don’t lose that, it is your gift; you will need it in the days to come. I know we will be together soon.
It is easy to blame your mom or me and sometimes the easiest way is to curse God for whatever happens. Don’t waste your time trying to find meaning to all these. The truth my child, is there is no meaning in all these. Destiny gives you the opportunity to give and make meaning to all of these.
I will painfully miss the good times with you for a while, such times as playing the games you love most, such as; being on my back as we play horse and even, your favourite game of hide and seek. Time and space cannot allow us, your mom is deeply hurt and unfortunately my presence only escalates her negative feelings.
Child, severally, I have tried to get to the bottom of it and unfortunately the only reason I have been given is that God has something to do with it. As you will know in your later life, sometime when we are at the end of our rope, the only explanation that supersedes all is God.
Please don’t look down on it, don’t be angry with it. It is what keeps your mum sane and gives meaning to what is taking place in her life. Some day when you look for the reason why I support her even when I am the biggest loser in all of this, you will understand why.
I don’t know a lot of very many things child, but, what I know; is that your mother is the love of my life. You are the best thing that happened to me, you continue to be a source of my inspiration.
Very soon you will be all grown up and we will talk these things. Right now, you can only talk a couple of words and its heaven to me. When you laugh, tears come to my eyes. When you have a cold or a cough peace leaves me. I love you child.
There are only three things in this life that matter, love, hope and faith. If this three are taken from you, nothing else in life matters. These past few days, I have had the misfortune of receiving blows from all corners of life.
It started by me being a cast-away from my immediate family, then I received the most unearthing news: that the person I have known to be my dad is really not my father. And the one who is presumably my father died sometimes ago.
These! My child, have changed my whole perspective on everything. At the same time, at my place of work things have not been rosy.
The bombshell fell, when your mom, sent a text to me, that said, “may be the answer to all this heartache and stress is we stop seeing each other.
Then maybe God will forgive us and have mercy on us.” It was at 7:35pm on 25th May. ………
End
M
561 words
20th August 2009 - maina maina / 2009-1 first serial rights offered
maichk@yahoo.co.uk
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