Bah Humbug! This is the way my heart felt that year. “I hate Christmas” I exclaimed out of frustration. The moment the words left my lips, I saw the look in my husband’s eyes and I wished I could take them back.
I couldn’t believe I had even said such a thing! Christ is to be the center of my life and right then He seemed to be the further away than He has ever been. My days have been filled with numbness, no feeling, no love, and no gratitude. What is wrong with my attitude?
I struggle with attitudes of my children; suddenly I realized what they are responding to is my attitude. A boomerang effect of attitudes! So much negative static is flying around my house it’s hard to see the beauty of the season.
I get so laden down with duty, taking on more than I can handle and the suddenly like a load a bricks I fall crashing down attitude and all.
Lord, change my attitude, soften my heart, let me see the beauty in those around me instead of the flaws. Lord, let me see the beauty in myself and not all my imperfections. Lord, take away this numbness that I feel, help me release all the negative static in this household. Help me change the attitudes into something positive; let me see You this Holiday season! Let me have the joy that should be coming from my soul, the joy that reflects my Lord and my Savior. Lord let me truly have peace and joy this Christmas Season and for the upcoming year!
Numbness consuming my soul
Going through motions every day
Neither sad, happy, nor in control.
Feeling like I’m losing my life’s way.
The fellowship I once had with You
Seems like another lifetime away
Stumbling; feeling my way through
With only a match to light my way
Holding onto this dim flicker of light
You’ve given so mercifully to me
Knowing I need more in my life
I want the flame that used to be.
A flicker of hope a spark of light
Bring back the fire’s raging flame
It’s burning so dimly in my life
Lord, as I cry upon your name.
Consuming Fire, consume me
Make this spark a roaring flame
Bring me again to the place to see
Lord, as I cry upon your name!
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