Encouragement
I hear it said all the time, marriage is 50-50. I admonish those who say it, to correct themselves immediately. It wasn't until I heard a sermon preached by our beloved Dr. Bob Jackson of Acts Full Gospel Church that this issue resonated with me profoundly. From his sermon I learned Marriage is 100-100. For marriage could never be 50-50. To bring 50% of yourself to a marriage is to say here is half of me, please take this half as I am, and fix the other half.
To expect your spouse to then "complete" or "fix" the other 50% is an expectation you, yourself could not accomplish in your 20 to 30 plus years, so now you allow the burden to fall on your new husband or wife. You beckon them to complete you, or in fact fix that what you could not.
If your spouse did or does in fact complete you or fix you, then consider that you were never "whole" to begin with. We should never enter into a relationship with the expectation that where we lack another will supply and or fufill. (This should not be our motivator). For he or she can not fufill what you have spent 20, 30, 40 and sometimes even 50 years ignoring and neglecting yourself.
Enter into marriage complete, whole, assured of who you are and where you stand. Enter into a marriage Spiritually whole, Emotionally whole, Physically whole, and Financially whole. For in order to come together, one must experience being single first. The definition of single is: separate, unique, individual and whole. Once you have truly defined yourself as a single person, perhaps you will be blessed to bring your wholeness with another who is also whole.
For God never made a 50% person, or an 80% person, He made us all 100%. However as life goes on and troubles come, we sometimes shed 2% of ourselves here, and 4% there, 10% we leave in broken relationships, 15% in financial trouble, and and another 20% in childhood pains, however the journey in life is to take the "life experiences" that have hurt you, and use those same "life experiences" to heal you. Through forgiveness and triumph. Forgiveness is one of God's natural medicines it heals the heart and the soul and peels off dead skin to reveal healthy beautiful skin resonating from within. It erases our man made heart and births the heart of the word of God.
Be your complete beautiful self. Strive to look at yourself as complete. Women, don't invite a man into your life hoping he will deliver you from debt, deliver yourself. Men, don't invite women into your life hoping she will cushion emotional wounds, heal those wounds yourself. If we don't seek to heal our own wounds, those wounds will still be present in our lives as we connect with our spouses. If those wounds are still present what expectation do we conciously or unconciously place on them.
The answer to the riddle (the riddle being how to love) is we must love God first, with all of our heart, all of our soul and all of our strength, this is the first commandment, the second is like the first, to love your brother as yourself. If you can not manage the first, the second will never come to past. God is Love, and the Originator of love, our lives would be empty an unfufilled without His love.
We need to work on our own separate, individual, unique, wholeness in order to bring our best self to the relationship we enter into. If we will do this, our lives will make dramatic leaps and bounds we never dreamed possible.
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Such wisdom! Well said. Thank you.
I have to agree with bringing wholeness to a marriage. Though, as a person with a physical disablity and the financial ruin that comes with that, being whole Spiritually, Emotionally, Physically, and Financially, had more to do with defination than absolute fact. You can be whole, by the healing of the Great Physician, and still not be 100% physically whole. You are also the heir to the fortunes untold but not have a cent to your name. Our wholeness comes from God. I am sure this is just a point of defination but wanted to bring that to light.
It is indeed very true. Many couples bring only a part of themselves into the marriage and hoping the other "half" will fulfill their needs. Very well written.
Now, I am not normally one to get misty eyed but how true. Wow and I mean that from the bottom of my little married heart! ;)
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