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Have you ever gotten into a TEXT fight?
by Julie Michaelson
09/02/09
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Then Peter
came to Him,
and said,
Lord, how often
shall my brother
sin against me,
and I forgive him?
Up to seven times?
Jesus said to him,
I do not say to you,
up to seven times,
but up to
seventy
times seven.
[Matthew 18:21-22]
***********************
(Mumbling.)
(Point up at ceiling.)
(Gripping cell phone with other
hand.)
"HEY!
SHE STARTED
it,
LORD!"

[RUMBLE.]

"NO FAIR!"
(Shake puny fist
into air.)
"I know who
YOU'RE
SIDING with!"

[STERN GAZE.]
"What does
My Word
tell you,
child?"

(Put puny fist down.)
(Clueless squint up at ceiling.)
"Eh.....never
put an old sparkling
BURGUNDY.......
into a new WINE bottle?"

[PATIENT SIGH.]

(Squint.)
(Bite on finger nail.)
(Squint.)
"Eh.......if you got an
old pair a' JEANS....
you're better off,
not stickin' a new
PATCH on IT?"

[SHAKE HEAD
IN CONSTERNATION.]
[SIGH.]

(Squint again,
up at the ceiling fan.)
"How come I never
get those PARABLES,
LORD?"
(Reading glasses slide
down nose.)
"Is it because
I'm JEWISH?"

[PATIENT GAZE.]
[SIGH.]
[PATIENT PAUSE.]
"Read
My Word,
My kin'da'lah."

(Yell up at ceiling.)
"BUT,
which ONE,
L....O....R.....D?"
(Loud whiny voice.)
The JEWISH ONE?
Or,
the GOY'ISHKAH ONE?"

[FIRM VOICE.]
"All of It."

(Grimmace.)
"Yeah;
but, which Word
talks about
TEXT-FIGHTS?
They didn't even
HAVE....
CELL PHONES,
in Your DAY!"

"How do you
know,
child."
[RUMBLE.]
My Day
hasn't arrived
yet."
***********************
Then the disciples of John
came to Him, saying,
Why do we and the Pharisees fast...
but Your disciples do not fast?
And Jesus said to them...
No one puts a piece of
unshrunk cloth
on an old garment...
nor do they
put new wine
into old
wineskins.
[Matthew 9:14-17]


If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW

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