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The Good Glaswegian
by janice moorcroft
09/02/09
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The Good Glaswegian

Narrator: One day a lawyer asked Jesus a question.

Lawyer: (in Uriah Heap type voice) Good Master, what must I do to live forever?

Jesus: What does your Bible tell you?

Lawyer: (deep breath and says it really fast) You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your strength and all your might, and your neighbour as yourself.

Jesus: correct....do this and youíll have eternal life.

Lawyer: (Uriah Heap voice) But who is my neighbour (glaring at congregation) surely not...THEM!

Jesus: Let me tell you a story (both wander over to the side of stage)

Once there was a man travelling from Edinburgh to Glasgow.....

(someone comes on with road sign saying Glasgow 20 mile)

(enter traveller with map upside down, and enter thug from the opposite side, thug walks to middle and stands there looking menacing....traveller wonders round stage looking lost and walks into thug)

Thug: Iíll have that map....and the mobile....and all ya money

(short fight breaks out between traveller and thug)

Traveller: ow!!

(thug runs off laughing, travellers staggers around the stage and collapses)

Jesus: The traveller was left half dead, but at that moment along came a Pastor who noticed the man collapsed in a heap.

Lawyer: (relieved) Thank goodness for that!!

Pastor: (looking pious) Oh no not ANOTHER drunk.....best leave him to sober up.(exits very quickly)

Lawyer: (shocked) He canít do that....itís his job!!

Jesus: After him a teacher came along, he was late for school

Lawyer: Oh heíll be alright now...teachers know first aid.

Teacher: No time to stop.....didnít see anything anyway (looks the other way)

Lawyer: butbutbut......

Jesus: Finally, a Glaswegian, on his way home walked by.

Lawyer: Ha...I bet he finished the thugís job!!

Jesus: Well no...actually he stopped to help him, called an ambulance...even went to the hospital with him.....paid for an hotel room AND phoned his wife.

(Glaswegian helps traveller onto chair at the side of the stage)

(Lawyer looks shocked....stands with mouth open)

Jesus: (closes lawyers mouth) So then, my friend...who was his neighbour?

Lawyer:( said with disgust) eerrrrr......him(points at Glaswegian)....the Scottish guy who took care of him

Jesus: So go and do the same!

(lawyer exits looking crest fallen)









If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW

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