Christian Living
Acceptance. It drives us all; none of us are immune from it. That same drive may hurt us. When you stop to think about it, what have people done in order to be accepted? Just about anything is the answer. And that’s the irony of it all. Most of the time, what we do to get accepted doesn’t work or winning the acceptance we thought we wanted doesn’t make us feel better. Once we have it, we’ve got to keep it. Therein lies the pattern that can destroy a person’s soul and life.
When we were young kids, acceptance wasn’t a big deal. We played and most of the time we all accepted each other. But, slowly it started. Someone wouldn’t let you play with the other kids or maybe you didn’t let someone else play with you and your friends. This is the critical time when children are developing as people not only physically and mentally, but emotionally too. Rejection at this point or learning that there’s a possibility of rejection might be why we all end up striving for acceptance at high costs.
Before you say that you’re not tempted by the need for acceptance, think of the things you buy. Do you buy them in order to gain some acceptance? Be honest. Sometimes, we buy certain clothes for ourselves or for our children in order to fit in or be accepted. Or maybe it’s a certain school we pay a high price for our kids to attend. We work to achieve certain levels of success not because we really want that success, but because it’s a means to an end. That end may be acceptance.
The need for acceptance can drive us into debt, away from God and away from spending time with our spouses or children because we want that promotion or we can’t say no to our “friends.” Or what about the people who strive so hard working tirelessly at the church that they don’t spend time with their family? They may do it for good reasons, but they may also do it for God’s acceptance which isn’t necessary. He accepts us not because of what we do.
Ultimately, the need for acceptance can drive us to addictive behaviors whether it be work, sex, drugs, over-eating, whatever. There’s a void and Christians are not immune to it. As a child, we might not have felt accepted by our dad, mom or peers. I heard that Marilyn Manson wasn’t accepted at his church’s youth group. It makes you wonder – what if he had been?
But, back to addictive behaviors, we can get treatment. We seem to get better and then later, sometimes much later, go back to the addictive behavior. Or we choose another one. A friend of mine had a theory that the addictive behavior results out of shame. I am thinking that the shame might be linked to our need for acceptance. When we don’t feel accepted, we feel ashamed.
I know I’ve not painted a pretty picture, but there is one coming. It just requires one thing and that’s our acceptance. Ironic, huh? If we have accepted Jesus’ sacrifice as atonement for our sin and invited Him into our life as Savior and Lord of our life, then God Himself accepts us. That’s the ultimate acceptance – us accepting Christ and us accepting ourselves. Tada. The need for acceptance and addictive behaviors eliminated. Well, maybe not. I’m in agreement with the truth I just wrote. I’m still working on fully accepting that truth in my life myself and therefore accept myself for who I am in Christ for He accepts me.
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