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A Lotta Hap'pi Fart'si
by Julie Michaelson
08/26/09
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Then some Sadducees,
who say there is no resurrection,
came to Him,
and asked Him....
[Mark 12:18]
*******************
Characters:
the Lord Jesus
Pharisee Fart'si
Hap'pi the Sadducee
Jo'ach the tailor
Jo'ach's donkey (Dizt'zee)
___________
It's midday, and the summer
air is dry and brittle.
People have gathered under
the shade of a large tree, near
the steps of the Temple. The Lord
Jesus is sitting on a low stone
wall, and talking quietly to
some of the townsfolk. One
of them is holding on to the
reins of a well-fed donkey, who
has plumped down in a bit of
grass under the cool shade. Immediately,
it begins to nibble on a piece
of straw-like grass. Unfortunately,
the grass being nibbled upon is
right beside the well-heeled
sandal of the Pharisee's big
toe.
___________________
(Snarl!)
"JO'ACH! WILL YOU
GET YOUR ANIMAL
AWAY FROM MY FOOT!"

(Squint.)
"Oh......sorry, Fart'si."
(Squirm!)
"I mean, uh......Pharisee Fart'si."
(Joach tries to nudge Dizt'zee's
big nose away from the Pharisee's
foot; the donkey only snorts,
and continues chewing contentedly.)

(Snarl!)
"As I was SAYING.......!"

[Lord Jesus smiles at
Jo'ach, and then nods with
great intelligence and curiosity
at the Pharisee.]
"Yes, Fart'si? Go on."

(Pharisee Fart'si clears his
dry throat. Annoyed that this
Narazine is speaking to him,
so familiarly, Fart'si's small
dark eyes involuntarily squint.
He also glances, longingly,
at the town well, just up a
ways down the grassy knoll.
But, his pride keeps him
from moving a step.)

[The Lord Jesus looks intently
at him.]

"Eh, h'm! Well......eh....."

(Suddenly, Fart'si is
interrupted by a big, booming
voice.)
"HEY! IT WAS MY TURN!"

(Everyone turns to look at Hap'pee,
who has just strutted over to join
the little gathering. Hap'pi, using
a starched white cloth to wipe up
the beads of sweat from his big,
glossy cheeks, would obviously rather be sitting at
home drinking from a cool jug of water, than
spending any time outside in the heat of the day.
But he had been waiting, for some time, to
speak with this infamous Nazarine, and was
tired of the Pharisees and Scribes always hogging
His Attention.)

(Dizt'zee looked up from her clump of summer
grass, and snorted. Then, she went back to her
chewing.)

(Fart'si purses his thin lips at Jo'ach, and
then turns to the sweating Saducee.)
"Go AWAY, Hap'pi! I WAS here, FIRST!"

(Hap'pi waves his soggy handkerchief at
the Pharisee, and butts his way up to the
front of the group. Being slightly pushed
aside, Pharisee Fart'si looses his balance
for just one moment, and almost falls over
Dizt'zee. The donkey, none the worse for
wear, neighs gruntingly a little, and then continues
chewing.)

[The Lord Jesus looks on, patiently.
Then, He nods at the plump Sadducee.]
"What is it, Hap'pi?"

"You know my NAME?"

[Jesus smiles, and nods.]

"Well, eh......."
(Wipe, wipe.)

"Here's some WATER,
Sadducee Hap'pi!"
(Jo'ach produces a small jug in
front of the Sadducee's plump nose.)

"ECH! That jug isn't CLEAN!"
(Hap'pi pulls his cheeky face
away from the cool, moist jug, in disgust.
His parched mouth, however, has already
begun to salivate at the sight of the drops
of cool water lingering on the sides of the jug.)

"ALRIGHT! I'll just give it to
Dizt'zee, then!"
(And, Jo'ach immediately bends over to
his donkey, which is more of a pet than a
beast-of-burden, and waits patiently while
Dizt'zee slurps her big black tongue over the
top of the running jug.)

(Hap'pi the Sadducee grunts in disgust,
and then turns his full face on the Waiting
Nazarine. Stuck by His intent gaze,
Hap'pi has to clear his parched dry throat
again, before speaking.)
"Eh, h'm!
Well!"

(Pharisee Fart'si rolls his narrow eyes,
with sarcasm, and pretense boredom. Secretly,
he's seething with resentment at the Sadducee
for grabbing all the spotlight away from him.)
"Go ON, HAP'PI! We don't have all DAY!
PRAYERS start, in barely an HOUR!"

(Hap'pi, his eyes again on the donkey's slurping
tongue over the little water fall of cool, fresh
water, pays little attention. He only clears his
throat again, and begins to speak, rather hoarsely.)
"Eh.....well. I have a QUESTION!"

[The Lord nods.]
"Yes, Hap'pi?"

(The Sadducee bites his parched lips.)
"Eh.....well..eh...
Eh......
How do You know my NAME?"

(Pharisee Fart'si interrupts
with a snarl.)
"Will you JUST..........?"

[The Lord quietly moves His Eyes to
the Pharisee's long, thin face.]

(Fart'si closes his tight, thin lips.)

(Hap'pi takes another swipe of
his sweaty handkerchief.)
"Well...I gotta a question. Eh...
suppose a man dies before he
and his wife have children...and
according to what Moses said,
the man's brother marries her and..."

(Jo'ach looks up, and squints. He's now sitting
on the cool grass beside Dizt'zee,
and patting her rump.)
"Who was THAT, Sadducee HAP'PI?
Your uncle FITZ'RAH?"
(Clueless squint.)
"DIDN'T he just MARRY your
mother's cousin BER'THA?"

"WILL YOU BE QUIET!"
(Pharisee Fart'si purses his lips
outward, and rolls his beady eyes at Jo'ach.)
"You have NO BUSINESS being HERE!"

"HEY!
I came to hear the TEACHER!"

"GO BACK TO YOUR TAILOR SHOP!"

"Children!
Children!"
[The Lord holds out his Hand, and
sighs.]
"Let Hap'pi CONTINUE, PLEASE."

(Snarl.)
(Tight-lipped frown.)

(Mumble.)
(Pat pat on Dizt'zee's rump.)
(Mumble.)

[SIGH.]
"Please continue, Hap'pi."

(Sweaty nod.)
"I can't remember where I was......?"

"Your cousin BERTHA!"

"NO! It WASN'T!
So, anyhow, the second
brother died, and she married
the third, and they didn't have
any children either......."

(Jo'ach pipes up, again.)
"That's never been a problem
in MY FAMILY! Heck, I got
ten kids, ALREADY!"

(Pharisee Fart'si turns
and glares at him.)
"Will you...... SHUT UP!"

(Whiny, woe-is-me voice.)
"TEACHER?
WILL YOU ASK PHARISEE
FART'SI TO QUIT PICKIN'
ON ME?"

[PATIENT SIGH.]
***************************
(Sadducees)
Therefore
in the Resurrection
when they rise,
whose wife will
she be?
For all seven
had her as wife.
Jesus answered...
Are you not therefore
mistaken,
because you do not know
the Scriptures
nor the power
of God?
[Mark 12:23-24]









If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be! TRUST JESUS NOW

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