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Healed
by Ashley White
08/23/09
For Sale
Author requests article critique


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Heaven has received a special gift
a little infant boy
cute, cuddly, and very sweet
he brings God so much joy

Ever more in Godís presence
forever in Godís arms
the angels sing him lullabyís
and rock him back and forth

Always may he be
your very special boy
may it never be forgotten
how safe and content he is
in our Lord and Saviors arms of
love and compassion

Laying down his little head
across Jesusís chest
he dreams sweet dreams
and plays and laughs
as little boys do best

Energy explodes from his body
as his tiny legs get up and run
he now plays on Heavens streets
paved with golden paving stones

Down he looks to the earth
Through the window of your house
he sees his parents a little sad
but rejoicing greatly
for now their little boy
is finally home to grow up
forever in Godís house
healed and free

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Member Comments
Member Date
Jacob Gibson 24 Aug 2009
Hi Ashely! Thank you for the kind and encouraging critique. I think you have written a wonderful poem. It's both sad and joyful at the same time and I know many parents will be able to relate to it. (Did something like this happen to you?) It has good structure, but I wonder if it needs more rhymes in some of the paragraphs that don't have any. I don't know if you really need rhymes in every verse; I'm no expert on poetry and it may not be necessary. It sounds just fine to my ear when I read it. Good work! God bless!




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