After a series of relationships with extraordinary people, the boy and the girl find what they really want in a partner in the simplicity of each other.
(As first performed by Unchained Productions, June 17, 1990, at Living Hope Fellowship)
NARRATOR David Ian
THE BOY Roger Miller
THE GIRL Debbie Miller
*MR. RICH *MISS HIGH SOCIETY
*MR. BRAINS *MISS FITNESS
*MR. FAST CAR *MISS MODEL
*MR. JOKE *MISS MIRTH
* various audience members
(NOTE: The eight characters can be played by eight actors in full costume; or by two male and two female actors with a prop or costume bit to suggest their characters; or in informal settings, audience members can be coaxed into springing upon stage (perhaps by using a "spotter" to choose people before their cue) and playing thesupporting characters, miming as best they can what is narrated for them. The latter has been done with great success and is highly encouraged where audience participation is appropriate.
(Four chairs are set in a line, in groups of two with a little aisle in between the groups. THE BOY and THE GIRL sit in the two chairs closest to the aisle, while the other characters take their seats from the outside to sit next to either THE BOY or THE GIRL. The actors mime each scene as descrbed by the NARRATOR.)
NARRATOR: Once upon a time, there was a BOY and a GIRL. (THE BOY and THE GIRL take their seats as they are introduced) They went to the same college together, where they went to study, go to classes, and meet other boys and other girls. Now, not surprisingly, the boys wanted to meet other girls and the girls wanted to meet other boys, and so it was with this boy and this girl.
First, THE GIRL met MR. RICH. He looked very nice, with gold rings, braclets, chains and, most importantly, a gold money clip. They went out to dinner at a very nice restaurant, he ordered the wine in french and THE GIRL was enjoying herself very much. Except when the bill came, and MR. RICH ordered seperate checks. "Because a penny saved, is a penny earning compound interest daily!" So much for MR. RICH.
Meanwhile, THE BOY had met MISS SOCIETY GIRL. THE BOY had saved a lot of money, not doing laundry for weeks, not geeting new tires for his car, and not buying various sundries in order that he might be able to impress her. MISS SOCIETY GIRL looked around at his beat-up car, and sniffed disapprovingly. She then sniffed again, and THE BOY suddenly realized that maybe one of the sundries he should not have skipped buying was deodorant.
Just then his car had a flat tire and THE BOY thought that perhaps he should have gotten those new tires, anyway. MISS SOCIETY GIRL had had enough, and promptly got out of THE BOY's beat-up car, and called for a taxi. As the taxi drove off, THE BOY heard MISS SOCIETY GIRL give the driver THE BOY's address, for where to send the bill. So much for MISS SOCIETY GIRL.
Meanwhile, THE GIRL had found MR. BRAINS, who was a brilliant microbiologist, and was going on to an impressively smart graduate school to earn his doctorate. After establishing on who was going to pay for the meal, she decided to go. At first, MR. BRAINS talked about interesting things, solving world hunger, space explorations, and curing deadly diseases. But when the waiter arrived with the food, MR. BRAINS began
talking about fungus, edible molds, digestive juices, and stomach parasites. THE GIRL excused herself and that was it for MR. BRAINS.
At this time, THE BOY had found MISS FITNESS, and in order to meet her, he had to join an aerobics class. She jogged, and THE BOY jogged. She did sit ups, and he did sit ups. She did curls with arm weights, he did curls with arm weights. One day, while they were doing toe touches during a three hour beginner's intensive program (for him), THE BOY's back gave a crack, and he remained in the toe touch position. Turned off by his weakness, MISS FITNESS left THE BOY and went and joined her six hour advanced intensive program.
Meanwhile, THE GIRL had met MR. FAST CAR, who had the coolest wheels on campus, and she got to ride with him and was the envy of all they surveyed. But he was so concerned about his car, that she had to sit in the back seat, and he gave her a towel to put underneath her so as not to dirty the upholstery, and a hair net so that no hair fell off on the seats. Soon she was the joke of all that surveyed them, and MR. FAST CAR didn't last too long.
Now THE BOY had found MISS MODEL, and felt he was the luckiest guy on campus. But he couldn't even hold her hand because it was "an insurance risk", and she couldn't keep from looking at her face in a mini- mirror, and kept touching up her face with a dab of foundation, a bit of rouge and a little more eye shadow. Her primping became incessant, and her perfume became industrial strength. "It's my own brand," MISS MODEL said, squirt, squirt. "I have to advertise it!" THE BOY suggested that she advertise elsewhere.
In her searchings, THE GIRL had now found MR. JOKE, who was witty and fun to be around, he could tell you one joke after another and keep you laughing all evening long. "This is kind of fun" THE GIRL thought to herself. Suddenly, she smelled smoke and felt a searing pain in her foot and realized that MR. JOKE had just given her a hotfoot. "HA! HA! What fun!" said MR. JOKE.
"Yeah, 'Ha ha'" THE GIRL thought, and that was all for MR. JOKE.
THE BOY had met MISS MIRTH, who was all giggles, and bubbles, and overflowing with laughter. While this was enjoyable for a time, THE BOY began to notice something strange. MISS MIRTH would laugh at almost anything. THE BOY decided to try something. He started out by just saying ordinary words. First, THE BOY said "ironing board", and MISS MIRTH burst into fits of laughter. THE BOY tried "birdcage", and she doubled over in hysterics. Finally, when THE BOY said "transister radio", MISS MIRTH fell off her seat howling with laughter. This was too much. Fun is fun, and while laughter is enjoyable, THE BOY decided there had to be something better.
But where to find something better? Where to find someone better?
THE BOY and THE GIRL were depressed.
Then, one day, sitting in the library (they had decided that it was about time they did some studying, for a change), THE GIRL caught THE BOY's eye. THE GIRL immediately gave it back to him. (NARRATOR to THE BOY and THE GIRL) Er, sorry about that.
They soon got to know each other and they found out a lot of things:
He wasn't MR. RICH, but she could be comfortable around him, and that you can't buy.
She wasn't MISS HIGH SOCIETY, but she had a grace and elegence of her own that was no brand name.
He wasn't MR. BRAINS, but he understood her without needing books, and that was most important.
She wasn't MISS FITNESS, but she wasn't running around so much that she wouldn't stop and listen to him.
He wasn't MR. FAST CAR, but she was the envy of all he surveyed, and that was nice.
She wasn't MISS MODEL, but she had her own inner beauty that never needed dabbing.
He wasn't MR. JOKE and she wasn't MISS MIRTH, but they enjoyed each other's company very much.
...And that's the way it has been ever since THE BOY met THE GIRL.
Suggested (but not necessary) props and costume bits to aid actors to establish characters.
NARRATOR Neutral (perhaps poet's black)
THE BOY Sweater
THE GIRL College sweatshirt
MR. RICH Business tie
MR. BRAINS Black, thickly framed glasses
MR. FAST CAR Dark sunglasses
MR. JOKE Outlandish tie
MISS HIGH SOCIETY Rhinestone necklace
MISS FITNESS Sweatband
MISS MODEL Compact, small brush, handbag
MISS MIRTH A big smile